insomnia

in an attempt to watch all of christopher nolan's movies, i came across this one. he made this one after memento and before the batman ones. it follows a lawman, played by al pacino as he travels to alaska to try and find a killer. the killer, played by robin williams, stays ever elusive, well at least until he finds out a few things about pacino's shady past. then we get an interesting game of cat and mouse, each one of course thinks he's the cat and has the other one pinned with something he can use to blackmail the other. all the while an honest local sheriff, played by hilary swank, is helping out pacino and starts to put the pieces together about both of them.
its a pretty interesting film with the character's conscience being symbolized by their inability to sleep. this is due to the fact that they are in an alaskan summer where the sun doesnt go down for days at a time. the twists and turns along the way are pretty interesting and robin williams does a great job as the creepy killer. its certainly one of nolan's lesser works, but it is well done.

predator 2

if a movie is a big hit, the logical next step would be to make a sequel, right? well, the sequels of today are a bit different then the way they used to do it. back in the day they would make a sequel of a good movie as quickly and cheaply as possible. well, this one is the perfect example of that strategy. in the first one they have arnold schwarzenegger in the jungle battling a mysterious hunter alien. in this one it seems the best they could get was danny glover. and this time the jungle is switched with l.a.. now, there are a lot of problems with this movie, the first of which is that it doesnt make any sort of sense. if you buy into the conceit of the first movie, that these creatures are here to hunt us, making no distinction between any of its prey. then why does it only seem to kill the bad guys in this one? also, the action makes no real sense, there is no connection from one (mass) killing to the next. they go from a drug ring killing to a random subway killing (and by the way, there's a subway in l.a. that people actually ride?!?). and this movie also breaks the cardinal rule of any monster movie: it shows us way too much of the monster! this thing is supposed to be lurking in the shadows, not chilling out in a cemetery during the day, or taking a pit stop in an old woman's bathroom! any sort of excitement and mystery that we might have felt by seeing the predator is completely gone because we see too much of him! oh, and dont even get me started on how lame the ending is when danny glover just happens to find himself in the predator's spaceship. the only cool thing this movie gives us is the alien head in the predator's trophy room which then leads to the alien vs. predator movies. oh wait, maybe that wasnt so cool...

the bodyguard

i havent seen this one in over 15 years, so all i really remember of it is the whitney houston soundtrack. and i'll bet i am not alone on that either... turns out, its actually a pretty decent flick! i didnt intend to watch it, i was just channel surfing one afternoon and came upon it on one of those lifetime channels- and i got sucked in! i'm a big fan of kevin costner, so i guess i was predisposed to stop on it and give it a chance. the film follows costner, a safety obsessed bodyguard, as he is assigned to keep houston's character safe. she is a huge movie star/musician who is nominated for an oscar and has a crazy stalker who is after her. i'm sure you can figure out that over the course of the film they fall in love and the stalker gets closer and closer. its a bit predictable, but the suspense that is built over the course of the movie is gripping and by the end, the twists and turns are done well enough to really invest you in it. not too bad for a predictable love story!

evolution

when i first saw this one i remember liking it a lot, but i think over time my affection for it has worn off a bit. maybe its because the special effects have aged, or maybe its because the plot holes in this contrived movie become larger and larger.
the story follows a couple guys who come across a meteorite that has fallen to earth and starts producing alien life. the title comes from the fact that these aliens start off as single cell organisms, but quickly evolve into plants, worms, insects, animals, apes, and eventually a huge giant creature of some sort. as these two ill equipped guys try to do what ever they can, the military gets involved and messes everything up (which they always seem to do in movies, dont they?). the humor falls pretty flat, and the obvious attempt to capitalize on the recycled 'ghostbusters' formula doesnt really work here. the one saving grace to this film, that keeps it from completely falling apart, is david duchovny, who got to stretch his comedy chops for the first time on the big screen in this movie. unfortunately, its not enough to keep this movie afloat.

valentine's day

this movie is kind of a mess, but kind of sweet too. taking the example of 'love actually' and its multiple stories about different types of love, this movie follows even more stories and features just about everyone in hollywood who has ever made a romantic comedy. its kind of meant to be the culmination of every rom-com ever made, it seems. the main story the movie follows is ashton kutcher, a flower shop owner, as he is about to propose to his girlfriend. his flower deliveries are what ties together the rest of the many many story lines. its not the best romantic comedy ever, but by sheer volume, its not bad. instead of just taking one or two of the cliches these movies tend to follow, this one packs them all into one neat little package for us! misunderstandings? check. love triangles? check. men behaving badly? check. women obsessed? check. a race to save the relationship? check. and these arent necessarily even in the same story! i cant say i would recommend this movie, but if you are going to watch a romantic comedy, you could do much worse.

repo: a genetic opera

remember when the movie 'seven' came out? remember how cool the dirty feel of that film was? well, that is what this movie is trying to achieve. does it work? not even remotely. this film is, as the name implies, a musical. the storyline of the film starts with the idea that in the future we will be able to purchase new organs for our body when ours go bad. the problem is that these organs are really expensive, and when someone doesnt pay their bill, they send in the repo man to get that organ back. interesting premise, but it falls apart. partly because of the shoestring budget, but also because of the terrible acting and singing. the songs are really lame and instantly forgettable with its 80's hair metal style guitars. though they were trying for a dingy sort of look, it ends up just looking cheap instead. which i'm sure it was. this has the sort of production value that wouldnt even be acceptable on one of those saturday night syfy movies! too bad really, there is something in the story, but it is completely lost in all the terrible writing, songs, and sets.

robocop 2

ugh. this is another one of those 80's movies that did so well that they quickly churned out a sequel, whether it needed one or not, and this one certainly did not need one. the campy appeal of the first robocop is gone, and so is the cheesy cool. the less said about this movie the better, so i will leave it at that.

dune

i had heard a lot about this movie, some saying it was a classic, others saying it was not very good. its based on a series of books and is directed by david lynch, so its pedigree is quite high. after having watched it i am, unfortunately, going to have to agree with the second opinion stated above: this movie is terrible! i would love to be able to give you a brief description of what this movie is about, but unfortunately i have no clue. it has something to do with an intergalactic prince going to a planet with huge sand worms like the movie 'tremors'. i know there is more to it than that (there has to be for it to necessitate its 137 minutes, right? right?!?), but the film is so disjointed that i couldnt follow very well from one scene to the next. it was jumping around all over the place- at one point it needlessly jumps ahead 20 years but everyone still looks the exact same. huh? i understand where it gets it cult status from, the imagery is very unique and impressive. it combines retro futuristic style with a sort of baroque feel from the 1700's. too bad there is nothing worth while under its incomprehensible surface.

brewster's millions

i recently rewatched this one with diana. i have seen it many many times before, it was a staple on comedy central growing up. i've got to tell you: i love this movie!!! its so much fun! the basic premise is this: brewster is a down and out minor league baseball pitcher who is down to his last dime. well, it just so happens that his great uncle, who he had never met before, recently died. his great uncle was a multi millionaire and brewster is his only living relative. the great uncle, in his will, leaves it all to brewster. theres just one catch: brewster can take one million of it free and clear, or he can take the strange challenge his great uncle makes for him: he must spend 30 million in 30 days. if he can do it, he will receive all 300 million of the inheritance! well, brewster is up for the challenge! it seems like it would be easy to blow through all that cash, but there are stipulations which make it much more difficult... this movie is just pure fun as we watch richard pryor try to waste as much money as he can in 30 days, along with his best friend played by john candy. with all the remakes being made in hollywood, this is one that is actually ripe for a modern spin! this movie is very 80's with its fashion and style, so i think it could be a perfect opportunity for a really fun remake. granted, no one does it better than pryor, but i'd love to see someone try!

get him to the greek

ah, i do love russell brand. this quazi sequel to 'forgetting sarah marshall' follows jonah hill as he is sent to get the rockstar aldous snow, played by russell brand. we follow the two of them as jonah must try to get him to his next big gig at the greek theater in l.a. so that they can save his career. the humor is really funny as jonah at first tries to get brand away from his excessive drug use and into some sort of lucid state so that they can make the gig. the journey takes them to some pretty strange places, including a visit to see brand's father, played hilariously by colm meaney. there are some great gags in here, and p. diddy does a fantastic job in his role as the boss of brand's record label. brand is really on fire here as he acts ridiculous, but still has such an innocent heart. there are moments of pure chaos, but then there are also moments of depth that were quite unexpected from this crazy comedy. i look forward to seeing this one again on dvd when it will, i'm sure, include a few extra bits that were cut for the theatrical release!

the human centipede

knowing the premise, i watched this one as you would watch a car accident on the side of the road: with detached disgust, yet with a sense of curiosity. turns out its not a very interesting car wreck, but the film certainly is a wreck...
the premise is this: a creepy german doctor wants to kidnap people and turn them into a freakish human experiment where he turns three of them into a centipede. i will leave out many of the details... it sounds horrific and devilishly twisted, right? well, turns out that the movie is actually quite tame, and very lame. when i heard about this idea my mind went wild with grotesque imaginings of where this film would go, and what i could come up with was much, much worse than what is actually on the screen. there is really nothing on the screen. any sort of gore or bloody imagry is completely passed over, instead what we get is a really generic horror movie that glosses over the horror part. the writing is terrible (wait, there was actually a writer of this movie?!?), the acting is pathetic, and the production value is non existent. as far as horror movies go, this one has an amazingly chilling concept, but the film literally does nothing at all with it. a major disappointment.

prince of persia

i caught this one at the dollar theater, which is about as much as i was willing to pay to see it. i remember playing the old video game about twenty years ago, but ive never played any of the modern versions of the game, so i was going in blind, for all intents and purposes. the story follows the prince of persia (i think thats where they get the name from...) as his father is murdered and its pinned on him. he's on the run in order to find out who is really responsible for it and along the way he gets involved in a search for a sword that can turn back time. i liked all the parcor aspects of the film, the prince being able to run on walls and make amazing leaps and stuff, but the whole thing just felt hollow and bland.