muppets take manhattan

ive never been a big muppets fan. i remember the old tv shows and would watch them from time to time, but i never really thought they were very funny. so i guess this movie isnt really one that i was going to like from the get go, so the fact that i didnt much care for it is not surprising. the story follows the muppets as they try to take a musical that they created in college (ok, the muppets went to college?!?) and try to bring it to broadway. when they arrive in new york they go to every producer in town and try to get them to put on their musical. it doesnt work. then they just seem to give up completely and everyone goes their seperate ways. well, kermit doesnt give up and meets some people who can help make it possible. i guess one of the reasons i didnt like the film is because their actions are unreasonable. first, the fact that they thought they would be able to make it work is ridiculous, and then when it doesnt, and when it doesnt it seems that they completely give up on the show and on each others friendships. a slight miscommunication sends them all packing, when all it would have taken was just one conversation to fix the problems some of them had with each other. i guess this problem is true of many movies, but with the muppets, the absurd comes into even stronger contrast. i want to like the muppets, but this one is a stinker.

land before time

i absolutely adored this movie when i was a kid. one christmas i told my parents i wanted this movie on vhs and nothing else! (fortunately they got it for me and a few other things too...) when the wife and i saw that it was on we had to watch it! unfortunately it doesnt hold up quite as well as a child's unquestioning love, but thats the way memories go, huh? the story follows littlefoot as he tries to find his family and make his way to the great valley. along the way he makes a few friends, and one scary t-rex enemy! it was unfortunate to realize that the film isnt really that good at all. the animation is poor (even by 1988 standards...) with all the colors washed out in that typical don bluth style. the story is very weak, even with all the extra padding, the film only clocks in at about 64 minutes. but, gosh darn it, i still love it. more for what it was to me than for what it really is. sometimes you just have to let nostalgia win out over the harsh cold realities, right? petri would agree, 'yup yup yup!'

bye bye love

diana said she loved this movie growing up and watched it all the time. i'm not exactly sure why, there is almost nothing in here that a young girl would find enjoyable. or that i would find enjoyable for that matter. the story follows three divorced dads as they try to figure out life post marriage. one of them, paul reiser, deal with it the best way he can, he wallows in his depression and has been having a hard time moving on. the second one, randy quaid, deals with it through anger, and the third one, matthew modine, fills the void with one night stands. each of them try to figure out what happens next in life as they still try to be good fathers for their children. most of the movie seems to be an advertisement for mcdonalds, since much of the film takes place in one. each of the fathers drop off and pick up their kids from the exes at mcdonalds and spend a lot of time sitting in the restaurant discussing how much life sucks. its not a good ad for mcdonalds, but an ad none the less... the stories are shallow and selfish, leaving the kids to suffer from childish fathers who dont seem to know how to deal with life as adults. i didnt end up caring for any of the three men, but instead just felt sorry for their children who have to deal with them.

it might get loud

this is a very interesting documentary that brings together three men who are considered the best guitarists of their respective generations. jimmy page of led zeppelin, the edge of U2, and jack white of the white stripes. the three men are interviewed about their perspective on guitars, playing music, what influenced them, and how they go about writing a song. it was pretty cool to hear the three different perspectives the guys have about how they get the guitar to do what they want. now, i dont have any interest in jimmy page. i'm sure he is an amazing musician, but i just dont care much about what he had to say. the other two, though, were great fun to listen to. the thing that impressed me most about the two other guys was their approach to the guitar. jack white talked about how he will take any old guitar, no matter the quality, and try to dominate it until it does what he wants, he sees technology as a crutch that limits his creativity. the edge has about the exact opposite approach, he spends hours running his guitars through the computer and through different distortion peddles trying to find just the right sound trying to make it sound like it does in his head. the two different approaches, though opposite, result in some of the best guitar playing out there today. the documentary climaxes with the three of these guys getting together, talking, and jamming. the final jam itself was a bit of a let down, but the info learned through out the course of the film was very interesting.

the proposal

i wanted to see this one in the theater, but for some reason my wife did not. i enjoy a good sandra bullock movie, and i'm always up for a ryan reynolds flick, so i figured this would be right up my alley. it was pretty good too, a minor entry into the chick flick cannon. the set up is that reynolds works for bullock and she is a mean demanding boss. she is from canada and finds herself about to loose her job because her visa ran out. she cons reynolds into marrying her for a green card. the government employee isnt buying it, so bullock invites herself to see his family up in alaska to prove that its true. reynolds must try to keep up the scam in front of his family, and hilarity ensues... well, i wouldnt go so far as to say hilarity, but it is pretty harmless fun. for my money, ryan reynolds is one of the funniest actors around, so its pretty hard to have him in a movie and there not to be at least a few good laughs. the whole thing is pretty predictable, but its fun none the less.

pagemaster

i dont know why, but i had high hopes for this one. granted, its a movie that has completely disappeared since it arrived in theaters, but i remember wanting to see it at the time. this past weekend my brother in law and seven year old nephew came over and i thought that it might be a good one to watch with my nephew.
the story follows a boy, played by mackulay culkin, who is too worried about safety. he finds himself in a library and is drawn into a magical book that turns him into an animated character. while in there he befriends three different book characters: horror, adventure, and fantasy. the four of them then go on different journeys through those three genres, eventually having to fight off the mighty dragon! along the way he learns that safety is important, but so is fun. the live action stuff is fine, but once we get to the animation it is so poorly done. the lines and color are all washed out to the point where the characters all blend in with the backgrounds and its hard to tell them each apart! remember the old don bluth style of animation? well, this is even more bland and beige (if thats even possible...). the characters are also really annoying and the journey is not at all interesting. really a disappointment. but my nephew enjoyed it, so theres that...

hellbound: hellraiser 2

this movie picks up soon after the first one. the main character from the first movie is now checked into a mental hospital because of the crazy stuff she witnessed. she doesnt remember how she got there, but wants to get out. she has the creepy pandora's box and begins to have hallucinations about these creatures coming after her. are they hallucinations, or are they real? eventually she gets taken to the mysterious realm that these demons are from and we get to see the horrors that await her there. too bad the horrors are not even remotely horrible. they are actually quite lame. i dont know if this stuff ever passed as scary, but it certainly doesnt hold up to today. its mostly just a bunch of chains, knives, and smoke blowing around giving the illusion of something scary. the creatures are not at all frightening, due to poor lighting and bad production. the ending is actually really funny, which i dont think was their intent... i cant believe that this series lived on to include four more entries. i guess if it makes a buck, why not, right?

beverly hills chihuahua

i knew eventually i would be seeing this movie. my wife and i have a chihuahua, so it was only a matter of time before she talked me into watching it with her and our dog.
the generic story follows a spoiled rich dog as she gets lost and kidnapped (dognapped?) in mexico and must find her way home. along the way she meet some friends and some enemies, and of course there is a life lesson to be learned as well. very bland and predictable. the movie would have gotten only one star because its so dumb, but there is one scene in the movie that elevates it higher than that: as they are traveling through the mexican country side, the dogs come across a whole tribe of chihuahuas that live in an ancient aztek city where they are encouraged to keep on their course by a the king chihuahua. he gives a speech rousing the dogs where he talks about how 'grand' and 'proud' the chihuahua race really is. he says 'we are not accessories to be carried around, we are mighty! we do not shiver because we are cold, we shiver because we are filled with pride, we are the mighty chihuahua!' and it is hysterical! the rest of the movie is garbage, but that one scene is hilarious!

hellraiser

i had known of this horror franchise but had never seen any of the films. well, i thought i'd give it a try since it was on tv anyway. the story follows a family who moves into an old family house. one of the brothers who had hit hard times had been shacking up there when he got a hold of this strange creepy box. he opened it and out came some chains and horrors and demons. his soul was then trapped in the floorboards of the attic of the house. the new family, mom, dad, and daughter, all move in. the mom, who had had an affair with the now dead brother-in-law, goes up in the attic and sees this creepy creature who has been rebirthed. that creepy creature happens to be the dead man. he needs more blood to return back to normal and grow his body back, so the wife lures in men to have an affair with and then kills them to feed the dead brother. while this is all going on, the demons who had tortured him find out that he has escaped their curse, so they return to get what they feel belongs to them. the whole thing is terribly 80's, with the bad hair and the bad fashion. some of the effects and make-up work on the demons still holds up as being pretty creepy, though. as the film heads to its climax it becomes obvious that the production ran out of money because the ending is absolutely terrible! any good effects are thrown out the window and replaced by obvious puppetry and poorly done green screen. pinhead, the main demon of the film, has since become a famous horror monster, but the start of his reign of terror in this film is only scary because of how laughable it is.