valley girl

wow, this one is terrible! this isnt really even a movie at all, its more like a soundtrack commerical! we follow the boy from the city, who is totally punk rock, man, as he decided he wants to have a relationship with the cute girl from the valley who's like, totally 80's. poor acting, poor writing, poor music, and especially poor 80's fashion kill this one before the beginning credits are even done! this 80's flick is best forgotten...

relative values

another one of those period british movies set in the 50's about a british man who falls in love with an american and brings her home to meet the family. though this is a pretty big cast, the film feels very small and wafer thin. the story itself is poorly told and we have very little interest in the characters themselves, were it not for the likability of many on the cast. colin firth, stephen fry, and julie andrews bring as much as they can to the characters who still feel about as thick as cardboard. were it not for these three actors, the movie would be almost completely unwatchable.

the legend of 1900

i had never heard of this movie before, and was very impressed with it! it follows the life of an infant abandoned on a steamliner at the turn of the century. we see that boy grow up on the steamliner as he learns life lesson from his adopted father figure. he grows to be a musical piano playing virtuoso, considered the best in the world! the man named 1900, due to his being discovered by his father on new years day of the new century, is marvelously played by tim roth. we get a real sense of the joy he gets from playing for the guests, but also the melon collie at the fact that he has no real home other than the ship. he decides, because he doesnt have any birth certificate or anything, to stay on the boat all his life. we follow him through his musical triumphs, playing in competition against the man who invented jazz music, as well as his lows as he sees the girl of his dreams but is unable to talk with her or follow her off the boat when it docks in new york city. it is billed as a fable, and there is much to learn from this interesting tale of a man who travels his imagination through music, but is unable to travel off the boat he was born on. this is a moving and enjoyable tale that i am glad i got the chance to see. it is truly majestic.

being human

this movie, which is a series of short stories, is pretty bad. it jumps around from different time periods and tells different stories about a man who is in love, each man is played by robin williams, so its a bit strange. we start off with a simple man who's wife is taken by vikings, then we jump to the story of a slave who must die with his master in ancient rome. the next story is of a spanish conquistador who must save his crew from a shipwreck, and a story set in modern day. each setting is meant to draw us closer and closer in to the man who must try and become brave. in each story he is presented with a difficult situation that he must stand up against. in each progressive vignette shows the man getting more and more bold in his courage. this might have been a pretty interesting movie if it werent for the narrator! she totally ruins the feel of the film and her mindless meanderings ruined the entire movie for me. if they had ditched the terrible voice over, it probably would have gotten at least two more stars...

the great outdoors

diana and i have been watching way too many 80's movies lately! i had always heard good things about this one and how it was one of john candy's funniest movies. i dont know if candy's style of humor is something i dont get, or if it is just too much a product of its time because this movie isnt that great. the story follows candy's family as they make plans for their summer trip up to the cabin. soon after they arrive, their friends stop by unannounced to join them. not too pleased about it, candy's family makes the best of it and the two families try to have a good time anyway. along the way they have some racoon troubles (which seems like it was taken straight out of 'caddyshack' as the animals try to conspire against our campers), a couple run-ins with a big bear, a boating episode, and some interaction with the locals. candy is big and lovable, which must have been why he had a career at all, and dan aykroyd is obnoxious as the annoying guest. the two of them play well of each other, which is the only redeeming part of this campy movie.

dont you forget about me

this is a documentary about the filmmaker john hughes and his five film run that defined a generation and explained what it was to be a teen in the 80's. four filmmakers decided to interview many of the people from those films and to eventually try to track down john hughes himself, who left hollywood almost 20 years ago and has hardly been heard from since.
the interviews are interesting, catching up with some of the old cast members from films like 'breakfast club', 'weird science', 'sixteen candles', and others. all of the actors glow about how amazing john hughes was and how they all miss his voice in films today. all of this is well and good, but much of their praising films of the past come at the expense of talking about how terrible movie are today. granted, i might agree with them on much of what they say, but i'm sure adults felt the same about these hughes movies when they were coming out. its all a matter of perspective, really. everyone things that movies that came out when they were 12-18 are the best ever and everything else is a pale comparison. except that this generation will think that the last generations and future generations stuff sucks too. you cant win with this type of complaining. another thing that bugged me about the movie is that the film makers try to talk with john hughes himself by going to his house and trying to get an interview. hey guys, he left hollywood for a reason. he doesnt do interviews for a reason. i dont know what that reason is, but ambushing him at his private house is not going to change his mind, i'm sure of it! since the film was completed, john hughes passed away so i guess we will never get those answers from him, but this movie doesnt really do his memory justice either.

man of the century

there is a really great movie in here somewhere, but this isnt it. dont get me wrong, this movie is pretty fun, but the concept is what makes it good, not the movie itself. the concept is this: the main character, johnny twenties, acts like he lives in the nineteen twenties. but he lives in the 90's. an interesting concept, to say the least, but this independent film just cant quite reach the heights of what its trying to do. he goes about his life as a newspaper journalist talking like someone who just came out of a speak easy! he's got a grand dame who he's crackerjack over, he goes after the big stories looking to crack the big one, ace. the funny part is that he's the only one who actually talks like he's a from the twenties and everyone else is baffled by the whole thing. its a fantastic concept that only barely scratches the surface of what could be a great film. the movie, unfortunately, gets bogged down by spending too much time with his girlfriend, some bad guys, and a dinner party with johnny's family. if this movie were given the all-star treatment and made into a big hollywood production, it could be grand. here's hoping that it gets picked up and remade!

her alibi

this movie is pretty lame, even for an 80's movie. the set up is that tom selleck is a crime writer who has run out of ideas. he decides to get some inspiration by going to the court house and see whats shaking. he runs into a woman who is in a bit of a bind, legally. selleck offers to be her alibi so she can get off. she takes him up on the offer and goes back with him to his house. turns out she isnt quite as innocent as he thought, and the bad guys follow them back to the house and cause a bit of trouble. the whole thing is fairly lame, but doggonnit, i really liked it! why? two simple words: tom selleck! i dont know what it is about that guy, but i would enjoy him in just about anything! no matter what is going on, he makes it so much better. he's kind of like richard dean anderson (macguyver, if you didnt know) in that there is just something inherently magnetic about him. do i have a little bit of a man crush on him? why yes, i certainly do, but who can blame me? i would have to say that the movie itself gets one star, but tom selleck gets five stars. that leaves us with an average of 3 stars. take that for what its worth, i guess.

princess of thieves

so i guess this is one of those disney straight to video 'sequels'. granted, it has no connection what so ever with 'robin hood: prince of thieves', but they must have figured they could make a little money if they piggy back that classic. the story follows the daughter of robin hood and maid marian as she has to go out and save nottingham and her father from the evil men trying to take power away from the rightful king. the story is pretty bland and seems to hit all the same notes as the traditional robin hood story: join a band of thieves in the woods, take part in an archery contest, etc. there is little to no action involved in the movie, and the love story is quite silly. it seems that the only reason it was made is because they got kiera knightly, so they quick threw something together so they could use her. the major problem with the movie, aside from a lame script, is the poor directing. during some of the bits, most notably the archery contest and the final showdown at the end, it is almost impossible to tell what is going on. the camera is always too close to the action, we can never really get a handle on what is taking place because all we see are close-ups and strange angles. its frustrating to see disney cheapen the memory of 'prince of thieves' with this garbage, i guess thats why it was sent straight to video, huh?

2012

roland emmerich has been making disaster movies for decades. some of his biggest ones are 'independence day', 'godzilla', and 'the day after tomorrow'. he's been blowin' stuff up real good for a long time now. well, this movie seems to be a culmination of all of that destruction as he goes for broke in destroying the entire planet. the story follows a bunch of different people as they begin to realize that the ancient mayan prediction that the world would end in 2012 is coming true. fortunately there is a scientist, played by chiwetel ejiofor, who saw it all coming and warned the world's leaders in time. the story is pretty unbelievable, but the special effects are breathtaking! on first look the film seems like just a hollow excuse to see stuff destroyed, but due to the actors involved, there is a level of weight to the destruction. thanks to ejiofor, oliver platt, danny glover and others, the story is made personal. its not a great movie, but it is better than i would have suspected.

bubba ho-tep

i had high hopes for this one. bruce campbell is the very definition of a cult icon, so i was interested to check out this rather strange film. in it campbell plays elvis pressley (or maybe just and old guy who thinks he's elvis) and is an old folks home. his best friend is a black guy who claims to be john f kennedy. well, the two of them find out that the place they are at seems to be recently haunted by the ghost of a long dead egyptian mummy. as we see these two old guys try to deal with their failing health, they also attempt to combat the zombie remains of the haunted mummy. i was hoping for something fun and interesting, but it was really flat and boring. i guess i just dont get it because it was pretty lame to me. pass.

the bumblebee flies anyway

this film follows the story of a boy, played by elijah wood, who wakes up in a medical youth ward with to memory of his life before. as he begins to piece together his own history, he discovers that everyone else in the ward is dying from different incurable conditions. he himself isnt dying, but decides to stay there anyway until he can really understand his past. along the way he befriends many of the fellow patients. among them is a dying boy who's sister comes to visit. the boy asks elijah wood to entertain her while she's visiting him. he does and the two of them strike up a romance. he tries to make sense of all this while still trying to answer all the questions about his slowly emerging memories of a crash before he arrived. the movie isnt very good, we never really feel for elijah wood's character as he explores his past. the romance between the two characters is done fairly well, but the random ending involving a cart and an attic is rather strange and poorly conceived.

the winter guest

kind of an interesting movie that follows a woman, played by emma thompson, who meets up with her mom who is suffering some health problems and a son who meets a girl that he falls for. the whole movie is pretty low key, most of it is just spent with thompson and her mom talking about life and the changes they are facing with age. they go for a walk and share a level of honesty that has been missing in their relationship. while they are gone, the teenage son skips school and meets up with this girl that he's seen a few times before. they head back to his house and find themselves drawn closer and closer. there isnt much that goes on in the movie, but its the small moments of discussion and revelation that make it pretty interesting. its well directed by alan rickman, and the story wanders around a bit with the different relationships developing, but there isnt much to the film.

chronicles of narnia: prince caspian

i was rather disappointed by this one. i really loved the first narnia movie, but this one seemed to completely abandon all the fun and wonder of the first. instead of magic, we get the military. thats not the narnia i remember reading about as a boy! the story starts with the four children one year after the last time they go to narnia. they miss it and hope to return again soon. well, they get their wish but find that narnia has changed a lot in the year since they left. what was only one year in our world was a thousand years in narnia. their kingdom is gone and its thought that all the narnian creatures are extinct. a mean group of people have come and have taken over narnia. their soon-to-be king, prince caspian, is on the run from his evil uncle who wants the thrown. well, this brings the four kids back to help put things right again. the story is pretty straight forward and we get to meet a few new characters, but over all its not very good. what was so good in small doses in the first narnia film, the climactic battle, takes center stage here and overwhelms the whole movie so that it feels more like a military exercise than a fun children's film. aslan and the ice queen show up as well, but neither of them really play a part in the story. they are merely magical distractions from the sword play that seems to be the focus this time around. with all the fighting and declarations of bravery, we dont have any time at all for any character development or any reason to care about narnia a thousand years later.

me without you

a story following the life of two girls who grew up together but took very different paths with their lives is not very good. in fact, trying to remember this movie is kind of hard because it was pretty forgettable. the story starts off with the two girls, one a sweet girl, and the other a rebel. the sweet girl looks to the other girl as a role model and an example of what she really wants to be. but as the film progresses and as she tries to go after the things that her rebel friend does, there is a quick descent and she finds that her friends lifestyle wasnt quite as amazing as she thought. at one point both of them are going after the same guy (of course), he is a professor at the college the sweet girl attends. they both have an affair with him and destroys their friendship. the whole thing was pretty sad and the characters are not very likable in the first place. we never care about them or the sordid paths their lives took.

easy virtue

the wife and i have been going through a bit of a 'period piece' phase in our movie watching, and i've got to say, i rather enjoy it. many of the films we have been watching are set in a victorian sort of era where everyone is a bit stuffy and cant really speak their mind. this film starts off just like that. it follows a man and woman who get married and he brings her home to meet the very british, very stuffy family. she is, of course, a coarse american who does speak her mind, which leads to many many problems. the mother is all pomp and circumstance, and the father is shut off from the world because he has to suffer all that pomp. as the movie unfolds we see the happily married young couple become not so happy. he is beginning to realize that if he wants to stay with her he will have to give up his britishness. jessica biel plays the young american very well, willing to meet the family, but not willing to become what they want her to. as it plays out we learn a lot about the family and why they are the way they are, and the marriage between them must become something else or it must be broken. the acting is great and the sets are fantastic as we watch the family and marriage crumble amidst the grand emptiness. while all this decay is starting to show, the film still keeps a sense of lightness to it.

the wonder of it all

ive never really had much of an interest in the story of how we got to the moon. unlike most little boys, i never wanted to be an astronaut when i grew up. even still, this documentary was very interesting. the makers of this film went around and culled through a ton of archival film and found some amazing new shots of the space program in the sixties and ever since. they also talked with seven of the twelve men who have actually walked on the moon. this is the highlight of the film, to hear from the men themselves what it was like, to give first hand accounts of what fears they had, what they expected, and the reality of being up there. many of these astronauts dig deeper than they ever have for interviews and share the real stories. the most interesting part of the film is when they each talk about what impact their moon landings had on their faith and spirituality. we get to really sense the wonder of it all (oh, so thats where the title comes from!) the only unfortunate part about this film is that they dont include any interviews with neil armstrong. his involvement would have made it even better, i'm sure.

plunkett & macleane

this victorian era film is about two thiefs who break out of prison. one of them cons the other into helping him gain wealth so that he can return to the higher ranks of victorian society. well, they dont have any money so they begin robbing carriages filled with wealthy people in order to reenter that world. they become a sort of masked bandit that the wealthy fear, but love to talk about. the man who reenters the aristocracy loves all the attention (even though no one knows it him), and he gets more and more bold with his heists. the film is thick with style, all the fast editing and strange angles and even stranger soundtrack. some of the fun of watching the movie is knowing that its a small reunion of some of the actors from 'trainspotting'. over all, its kind of fun, but kind of all over the place. there are characters that pop up every once in a while that dont seem to serve much purpose. one of the best scenes involves a gun duel, but it seems awfully disjointed from the rest of the movie. still, it was a bit of fun, so i give it a pass.

hook

i remember back when this one originally came out i was really excited about it and couldnt wait to see it. when i finally did see it i was kind of like 'meh'. all these years later i find i have the same response: meh. on paper it looks amazing: robin williams, the boy who never grew up, playing the boy who never grew up; dustin hoffman bringing a certain depth and gravitas to the role of captain hook; even julia roberts as the cute little tinkerbell. what could possibly go wrong? well, this is one of those times where the whole is less than all of its parts. the story is set many years after the original peter pan, with peter coming to our world and growing up. he got married, has two kids, and seems to have a pretty good, if busy, life. they go to visit their great aunt wendy and the kids get kidnapped by hook to try and get peter to come back to neverland for a rematch. much of the problems with this movie stem from the ridiculous stuff with the lost boys and with the kinda creepy love story elements in it. tinkerbell has always been in love with peter, which isnt played so much for its sweetness, but rather as an awkward wedge between them. great aunt wendy admits to always loving peter, who is 40 years her junior and happily married, which just kind of adds a sad creepy factor to the movie. the biggest problem over all though, is that there is a lot to look at, all of which looks pretty cool, but there is no heart to any of it. try as speilberg might, there is no depth to this fluff. over all, it felt like a great opportunity wasted. perhaps it will be revisited one day in a remake with someone else at the helm who can really dig in to the depths of the characters and situations.

james and the giant peach

having loved 'nightmare before christmas', i was hoping this film would have the same mischievous dark fun as that one. although there is some of that, this one is no where near as good. granted, it is unfair to compare the two movies, but when the character designs are so similar in style and its made by many of the same people, thos comparisons are inevitable. this one follows the story of james, a boy who lives with his two evil aunts who use him as their own personal slave. as a most unusual peach begins growing on their land, they try to make some money on it by having visitors pay to see it. one night james decides to cut it from the tree and it slowly floats up into the sky! james catches a ride with it and finds that there are some pretty strange creatures living inside the giant peach! among them are a grasshopper, a lady bug, a centipede and others. as the peach floats across the ocean, james and his new friends find many things to do on it, including break into song! the songs are quite forgettable and could have really used danny elfman's dark brilliance instead of randy newman. another big problem with the film is that the story is so paper thin that it has a hard time filling the already short 80 minute run time. the movie is a failure, but a noble failure.

the importance of being earnest

diana and i, in the midst of our english victorian era fascination, watched this film recently. its based on an old play by oscar wilde, and it shows! the film is filled with witty lines and conversations as well as amusing twists and turns that are vintage wilde! the plot is about a couple men who step away from their lives on occasion and pretend to be someone else. this other person they pretend to be just happens to be named earnest. both of these fellows fall in love with women who think their names are earnest and eventually they cross paths with their lovers when they are in their real lives. oh the complications! oh the miscommunication! oh the hilarity! actually, it is pretty funny how things get all mixed up between the men and their ladies. colin firth, who is in just about every victorian era movie, does a great job as the man caught between two lies and two women. this one is worth checking out just for the witty dialog from oscar wilde!

rachel getting married

i had heard good things about this movie, and anne hathaway even got an oscar nomination from the film. the small story is about a woman returning home from rehab to attend her sister's wedding. as the movie unfolds, the reason for her being in rehab in the first place become clear, as well as its impact on the entire family. the movie does a great job of showing what its like to be the black sheep of the family as well as big topics like trust, forgiveness, acceptance, and loss. we feel for hathaway's character as she is put back into a situation where she is blamed for things that she did in her past and we see how hard it can be for those closest to you to forgive and try to move past costly mistakes. this is a good movie. so why am i only giving it two stars? well, because of the marriage itself. the movie spends about 10 minutes of its 90 minute run time on the wedding and its reception. there is no dialog, just shots of people talking and dancing. the wedding itself is not a traditional wedding, its some sort of strange hippie/indian/bollywood/african/drum circle type thing that is so pretentious and overwrought that it quite literally ruined the movie for me. during the ten minutes of this nonsense, i had forgotten about all the great realistic portrayals that came before it. instead it just felt like some sort of cultural mishmash of stuffy arrogance and unrealistic make believe. sorry, but all my positive feelings for the movie were washed away by the incessant impossible fantasy of the wedding itself. people like this and events like this dont actually exist. the movie was a deep drama about life issues and then becomes some sort of fantasy less believable than something from 'care bears' or 'my little pony'.

the education of charlie banks

this film follows charlie banks as he goes from high school to college and tries to find out who exactly he is. he obviously grew up in a family that put education before any sort of social life. charlie doesnt have many friends and seems to be fairly socially awkward. while in high school, he and his one friend decide to go to a party anyway. while there they meet jason ritter's character who has a huge temper problem and ends up getting in a really violent fight. charlie, being the good boy that he is, goes to the police with what he saw. years later, as charlie and his friend are in college, ritter shows up again. having never admitted that he was the one who turned him in, charlie freaks out when ritter arrives. the two of them slowly become friends and it seems that ritter has gotten his temper under control until an incident happens on campus. the two of them must deal with what happened all those years ago- will it end poorly for charlie?
the movie isnt that great, and the direction is mediocre, but what lifts this one one out of the one star category is the fantastic acting by jesse eisenberg. that guy is so good at playing tormented socially stunted outsiders that it elevates a bad movie to ok.

bright star

this film is about a short lived love affair between john keats, a famous poet, and the girl he loves. another victorian era film that is all about the love that is not allowed by society. the girl, played by abbie cornish, is not allowed to marry keats because he does not have any money. that doesnt stop her from continuing her correspondence with him through intimate letters. from time to time he is able to visit her and they share what time they can together. also in the story we see keats writing friend, played by paul schnieder (who has been a favorite of mine since first seeing him in 'the assassination of jesse james by the coward robert ford'). he is pretty much a big jerk in this movie, even forcing himself upon the family servant and getting her pregnant. this, as is so often the case in these victorian movies, is a romance that blossoms quickly, but is destined to end sadly. the film itself is pretty good with all the leads doing a great job with the story. cornish makes the whole thing very believable as she falls for this hopeless case. even though schneider plays a cad, i still wanted to love the character because of the great presence he brings.

muppets take manhattan

ive never been a big muppets fan. i remember the old tv shows and would watch them from time to time, but i never really thought they were very funny. so i guess this movie isnt really one that i was going to like from the get go, so the fact that i didnt much care for it is not surprising. the story follows the muppets as they try to take a musical that they created in college (ok, the muppets went to college?!?) and try to bring it to broadway. when they arrive in new york they go to every producer in town and try to get them to put on their musical. it doesnt work. then they just seem to give up completely and everyone goes their seperate ways. well, kermit doesnt give up and meets some people who can help make it possible. i guess one of the reasons i didnt like the film is because their actions are unreasonable. first, the fact that they thought they would be able to make it work is ridiculous, and then when it doesnt, and when it doesnt it seems that they completely give up on the show and on each others friendships. a slight miscommunication sends them all packing, when all it would have taken was just one conversation to fix the problems some of them had with each other. i guess this problem is true of many movies, but with the muppets, the absurd comes into even stronger contrast. i want to like the muppets, but this one is a stinker.

land before time

i absolutely adored this movie when i was a kid. one christmas i told my parents i wanted this movie on vhs and nothing else! (fortunately they got it for me and a few other things too...) when the wife and i saw that it was on we had to watch it! unfortunately it doesnt hold up quite as well as a child's unquestioning love, but thats the way memories go, huh? the story follows littlefoot as he tries to find his family and make his way to the great valley. along the way he makes a few friends, and one scary t-rex enemy! it was unfortunate to realize that the film isnt really that good at all. the animation is poor (even by 1988 standards...) with all the colors washed out in that typical don bluth style. the story is very weak, even with all the extra padding, the film only clocks in at about 64 minutes. but, gosh darn it, i still love it. more for what it was to me than for what it really is. sometimes you just have to let nostalgia win out over the harsh cold realities, right? petri would agree, 'yup yup yup!'

bye bye love

diana said she loved this movie growing up and watched it all the time. i'm not exactly sure why, there is almost nothing in here that a young girl would find enjoyable. or that i would find enjoyable for that matter. the story follows three divorced dads as they try to figure out life post marriage. one of them, paul reiser, deal with it the best way he can, he wallows in his depression and has been having a hard time moving on. the second one, randy quaid, deals with it through anger, and the third one, matthew modine, fills the void with one night stands. each of them try to figure out what happens next in life as they still try to be good fathers for their children. most of the movie seems to be an advertisement for mcdonalds, since much of the film takes place in one. each of the fathers drop off and pick up their kids from the exes at mcdonalds and spend a lot of time sitting in the restaurant discussing how much life sucks. its not a good ad for mcdonalds, but an ad none the less... the stories are shallow and selfish, leaving the kids to suffer from childish fathers who dont seem to know how to deal with life as adults. i didnt end up caring for any of the three men, but instead just felt sorry for their children who have to deal with them.

it might get loud

this is a very interesting documentary that brings together three men who are considered the best guitarists of their respective generations. jimmy page of led zeppelin, the edge of U2, and jack white of the white stripes. the three men are interviewed about their perspective on guitars, playing music, what influenced them, and how they go about writing a song. it was pretty cool to hear the three different perspectives the guys have about how they get the guitar to do what they want. now, i dont have any interest in jimmy page. i'm sure he is an amazing musician, but i just dont care much about what he had to say. the other two, though, were great fun to listen to. the thing that impressed me most about the two other guys was their approach to the guitar. jack white talked about how he will take any old guitar, no matter the quality, and try to dominate it until it does what he wants, he sees technology as a crutch that limits his creativity. the edge has about the exact opposite approach, he spends hours running his guitars through the computer and through different distortion peddles trying to find just the right sound trying to make it sound like it does in his head. the two different approaches, though opposite, result in some of the best guitar playing out there today. the documentary climaxes with the three of these guys getting together, talking, and jamming. the final jam itself was a bit of a let down, but the info learned through out the course of the film was very interesting.

the proposal

i wanted to see this one in the theater, but for some reason my wife did not. i enjoy a good sandra bullock movie, and i'm always up for a ryan reynolds flick, so i figured this would be right up my alley. it was pretty good too, a minor entry into the chick flick cannon. the set up is that reynolds works for bullock and she is a mean demanding boss. she is from canada and finds herself about to loose her job because her visa ran out. she cons reynolds into marrying her for a green card. the government employee isnt buying it, so bullock invites herself to see his family up in alaska to prove that its true. reynolds must try to keep up the scam in front of his family, and hilarity ensues... well, i wouldnt go so far as to say hilarity, but it is pretty harmless fun. for my money, ryan reynolds is one of the funniest actors around, so its pretty hard to have him in a movie and there not to be at least a few good laughs. the whole thing is pretty predictable, but its fun none the less.

pagemaster

i dont know why, but i had high hopes for this one. granted, its a movie that has completely disappeared since it arrived in theaters, but i remember wanting to see it at the time. this past weekend my brother in law and seven year old nephew came over and i thought that it might be a good one to watch with my nephew.
the story follows a boy, played by mackulay culkin, who is too worried about safety. he finds himself in a library and is drawn into a magical book that turns him into an animated character. while in there he befriends three different book characters: horror, adventure, and fantasy. the four of them then go on different journeys through those three genres, eventually having to fight off the mighty dragon! along the way he learns that safety is important, but so is fun. the live action stuff is fine, but once we get to the animation it is so poorly done. the lines and color are all washed out to the point where the characters all blend in with the backgrounds and its hard to tell them each apart! remember the old don bluth style of animation? well, this is even more bland and beige (if thats even possible...). the characters are also really annoying and the journey is not at all interesting. really a disappointment. but my nephew enjoyed it, so theres that...

hellbound: hellraiser 2

this movie picks up soon after the first one. the main character from the first movie is now checked into a mental hospital because of the crazy stuff she witnessed. she doesnt remember how she got there, but wants to get out. she has the creepy pandora's box and begins to have hallucinations about these creatures coming after her. are they hallucinations, or are they real? eventually she gets taken to the mysterious realm that these demons are from and we get to see the horrors that await her there. too bad the horrors are not even remotely horrible. they are actually quite lame. i dont know if this stuff ever passed as scary, but it certainly doesnt hold up to today. its mostly just a bunch of chains, knives, and smoke blowing around giving the illusion of something scary. the creatures are not at all frightening, due to poor lighting and bad production. the ending is actually really funny, which i dont think was their intent... i cant believe that this series lived on to include four more entries. i guess if it makes a buck, why not, right?

beverly hills chihuahua

i knew eventually i would be seeing this movie. my wife and i have a chihuahua, so it was only a matter of time before she talked me into watching it with her and our dog.
the generic story follows a spoiled rich dog as she gets lost and kidnapped (dognapped?) in mexico and must find her way home. along the way she meet some friends and some enemies, and of course there is a life lesson to be learned as well. very bland and predictable. the movie would have gotten only one star because its so dumb, but there is one scene in the movie that elevates it higher than that: as they are traveling through the mexican country side, the dogs come across a whole tribe of chihuahuas that live in an ancient aztek city where they are encouraged to keep on their course by a the king chihuahua. he gives a speech rousing the dogs where he talks about how 'grand' and 'proud' the chihuahua race really is. he says 'we are not accessories to be carried around, we are mighty! we do not shiver because we are cold, we shiver because we are filled with pride, we are the mighty chihuahua!' and it is hysterical! the rest of the movie is garbage, but that one scene is hilarious!

hellraiser

i had known of this horror franchise but had never seen any of the films. well, i thought i'd give it a try since it was on tv anyway. the story follows a family who moves into an old family house. one of the brothers who had hit hard times had been shacking up there when he got a hold of this strange creepy box. he opened it and out came some chains and horrors and demons. his soul was then trapped in the floorboards of the attic of the house. the new family, mom, dad, and daughter, all move in. the mom, who had had an affair with the now dead brother-in-law, goes up in the attic and sees this creepy creature who has been rebirthed. that creepy creature happens to be the dead man. he needs more blood to return back to normal and grow his body back, so the wife lures in men to have an affair with and then kills them to feed the dead brother. while this is all going on, the demons who had tortured him find out that he has escaped their curse, so they return to get what they feel belongs to them. the whole thing is terribly 80's, with the bad hair and the bad fashion. some of the effects and make-up work on the demons still holds up as being pretty creepy, though. as the film heads to its climax it becomes obvious that the production ran out of money because the ending is absolutely terrible! any good effects are thrown out the window and replaced by obvious puppetry and poorly done green screen. pinhead, the main demon of the film, has since become a famous horror monster, but the start of his reign of terror in this film is only scary because of how laughable it is.

paranormal activity 2

after diana and i saw the first paranormal activity movie, we loved it, but were freaked out for weeks! we slept with the light on for more than one night... so it was with trepidation that we went to see the second one. we were both worried that it would be as creepy as the first one, but also kind of secretly hopeful that it would be.
turns out that it was pretty creepy, but neither of us lost any sleep over it. this one is just like the first in that it is found footage from a family that is dealing with some strange events around their house. the first one was about a woman and her boyfriend, this one is about her relatives as they deal with the same strange presence. the movie did a good job of slowly building the tension, letting us get to know the family before we start to see the weird things happening. the quality was still there and the creepy factor was in full effect, but i think it suffers from the fact that we have seen this before. there were some new twists in this story that were different from the last one, but it just didnt get under my skin the way the last one did. i liked the way they tied in the first one with this though. over all, it was a good scary movie, just not the homerun of the first.

surrogates

i didnt really have any interest in seeing this one, but my wife's step sister actually worked on the set of this movie, so i figured id give it a try. she did warn me that it was pretty bad. turns out she was right.
the story is set in the not too distant future where they have created robot avatars that people can link up to and live through while still staying in the comfort of their own home. by this point most people do everything through their surrogate robots instead of going out and doing anything themselves. as the story unfolds we find that there is someone out there who has been killing the surrogates and the people linked in to them are dying too, which is something that has never happened before. bruce willis plays a cop who ditches his surrogate to try and get to the bottom of it all.
is sounds like a pretty interesting idea, but it really never goes anywhere. the whole thing gets muddled up with anti technology rebels and the guy who created the surrogates in the first place. the whole movie is a terrible mess, and worst of all: its boring. from the stories we heard, it sounds like the problems started on the set between the actors and director and he never seemed to be able to make anything of interest out of it.

romy and michelle's high school reunion

ok, to be honest, this movie is pretty bad. i cant lie about that. but the thing is that they know its bad and have a great time with it anyway! the set up is pretty simple, in fact, i dont even need to explain the plot, its all right there in the title! romy and michelle, two best friends, go to their high school reunion. thats it. the fun comes from the way it all plays out, and the great casting as well. lisa kudrow, as michelle, is pitch perfect, her line delivery is amazing, in fact, the little 'huh' noises she adds to the end of her statements are what saves this movie from being complete rubbish! this is especially true when you hear mira sorvino delivering her lines as romy- terrible! there is just something wrong with her voice or something, she is the definition of a bad actress (how she won an acadamy award is beyond me...). one of the funniest moments of the film is when the two of them start dancing with allen cummings- its worth watching just for that dance!
anyway, i cant justify enjoying this movie, but i did anyway.

shutter island

i've never understood all the praise for martin scorsese. i have seen many of his movies and dont really care that much for most of them. well, i finally found one i rather liked. shutter island is about a detective who comes aboard an island mental ward in order to help with the disappearance of one of the residents. the mood is created well, and dicaprio does a good job of drawing us into the mystery. we watch as he finds that some of the stories dont quite add up and he begins to piece together the clues. its a pretty good little yarn, but the twists and turns along the way were pretty easy for me to see coming. i dont know if that was true for everyone who saw it, but this was one of the rare times where i figured it out really early in the movie. most times i just let the movie take me away, but i kind of figured it out months ago from the first previews they showed for the movie. having not read anything about it, i knew what the twists were before i even started the film (and thats not due to the usual reading of reviews or anything!) so maybe the problem i had with the film wasnt the film at all, but was in the marketing giving away too much. anyway, all considered, its a pretty good flick and worth watching. i've heard that its better the second time through, but i didnt have time to watch it again, it was only a rental!

beowulf and grendel

maybe i watched this version of the beowulf story too closely to watching the animated version of the story, because in comparison, this one really really sucks! the story is the same one we have heard retold so many times: the king angers the beast grendel, he attacks the town. they call in a warrior in beowulf, and he takes down the beast but must then contend with grendel's mother. this one is rather flat and the creature make up is really lousy. its no wonder it went straight to video, where it belongs. i will admit though, the landscapes were breathtaking!

a dog's breakfast

after going to the stargate convention (i know, i'm a nerd and am ok with it) and seeing david hewlett there, i decided to give his directorial debut a try. there were many fans saying how they liked it, so i wanted to see if it was any good or not. well, its not.
the story is about a cooky shut-in, played by hewlett, who's sister comes to visit and she brings along a surprise: her fiancee! she's there to introduce him to her brother and hopefully get him to accept the new man in her life. well, hewlett doesnt take too kindly to him and overhears a conversation that sounds like the fiancee is cheating on his sister. he takes matters into his own hands and ends up killing the fiancee, accidentally of course, but kind of on purpose. he quickly buries the body and tries to hide the whole thing from his sister. the guilt haunts him, and so does the body of the fiancee...
the story is alright, the murder/accident and its cover-up are meant to be comedic and played for laughs. most of the humor seems to stem from silly sound effects that accompany a quick turn or a hit to the head. the problem is that its not really funny at all, which is never good for a movie that bills itself as a comedy. the one nice thing that i liked about the movie is that everyone in it is from a stargate tv series, which brings the score up from one star, which is what it should really be.

hot tub time machine

this one should have been a homerun. i was so excited about this one and so ready to love it. then i saw it. it was pretty disappointing. the set up is great: four guys are partying and remembering the good old days back when they were kids, then they happen to be whisked back to the 80's with their hot tub time machine! they get to go back and relive their glory days for a single night. sounds like the perfect opportunity to show all kinds of really funny 80's nostalgia type things, right? well they do, but its not nearly as funny as it should be. i mean, they've some how convinced mr. 80's himself, john cusack, to be in it, but it still never really leaves the cleaver premise. this thing had all the makings of a movie that would take off and really be filled with great zingers and perfect moments of reliving their youth, but instead it just kind of sits there with half hearted jokes that fall pretty flat. with this being the competition, i guess bill and ted (and marty mcfly) are still the kings of the time machine.

the red violin

what a great movie! i've seen this one before and recently rewatched it. the story follows the life of a violin that was made in the 1500s as it goes up for auction. there are many people bidding on it and the film flashes back through the violin's 500 year journey to see where it has been. we start by learning about the man who made it with such loving care. then we go through and see some of the different people who have played it over the years and how those stories are a driving force for some of the different people who are bidding on it at the modern auction. we see a monastery bidding because it was a part of their collection for over one hundred years and plays an important part in the life of that church, a museum wants it because it was an inspiration for a famous composer, a chinese family wants it because it was a part of their family's anti-communism past, and a rich man wants it just because he's greedy! each of these flashbacks give so much life and depth to the journey of the violin and its importance. the stories are compelling and draw you in to care about each of the people who are bidding on the violin at the auction that by the end you dont really know who to be rooting for. an amazing story (well, stories) fantastically told.

aladdin and the king of thieves

i was just the right age when aladdin came out in theaters that i was totally enamoured with it. i loved it and memorized all the songs! a year or two later disney was about to start its foray into straight-to-video animated sequels. it is a standard practice now a days, but back then it was something quite amazing to an impressionable child! i immediately convinced my parents to let me purchase (yes, i purchased it with my own hard earned money!) 'aladdin 2: the return of jafar'. turned out that the straight to video stuff wasnt quite of the same quality. actually, i wouldnt even use the word 'quality' in the same sentence... having learned my lesson, i resolved to never again be sucked in by these poor animated follow ups. so, when the third aladdin movie came out a couple years later, i avoided it at all costs. i didnt get suckered in to buy it, but i was always curious about it and wanted to see it anyway. fast forward a dozen or so years and now i finally had the opportunity to see it, so i did! turns out, i wasnt missing anything.
i know this isnt really a review of the movie, but the story of my wanting to see the movie is infinitely more interesting that anything in the movie! ok, fine, here's the story: aladdin meets his dad and finally married jasmine. and its crap. the end. now you happy?

(500) days of summer

this is a pretty good movie. its kind of a chick flick, but its still quite good. the story takes the traditional love story, but jumbles it all up. it follows joseph gordon-levitt as he meets and falls in love with a girl named summer. the interesting thing about this movie though, is that we jump in and out of the days they have been together which are shown out of order. which means that we see the relationship as its ending even before we get to see them 'meet cute'. due to the mixed up order of events, we see an unusual view of what these two go through in their relationship. another difference between this love story and most is that its the boy who is head over heels in love, and the girl who is slightly aloof. this movie is exactly what the tag line for it says: this is not a love story, its a story about love. and as it turns out, its not necessarily about thier love together. an interesting take, and one worth watching.

for love of the game

i dont much care for sports movies, but i am a total sucker for kevin costner sports movies! in this movie he plays a baseball pitcher who is at the end of his professional career. the film follows his last game as he goes to the mound to pitch one last time. as the game goes on he keeps striking out everyone that comes to the plate. as he gets nearer and nearer to maybe doing the impossible: pitching a perfect game, we go into his head and flash back to everything that brought him to the point he is at. we go back and see him earlier in his career as he makes important decisions about his life and its importance over baseball. mostly the flashbacks come in the form of a girl, kelly preston, and his relationship through the years with her. what starts out as a fling becomes more and more important to him and he must make a decision between the game and the girl. all this is played out as he keeps going back to the mound on his attempt at a perfect game. the film is well constructed, flipping between flashbacks and on the field. as this game takes shape and becomes so important, we see his relationship with preston doing the same. as he throws his last game we see him come to terms with having to leave the sport he loves and the thing that made him who he is. its a good movie, and a great chick flick told from the point of view of the guy. i guess chick flicks for guys usually are sports movies, huh? well, they found the perfect match in this great movie!

my super ex-girlfriend

what a train wreck. just about everything in this movie is a disaster, from start to finish. the movie follows the life of office worker luke wilson as he tries to find love. we know the whole time that he actually likes the girl that he works with, and she likes him, but instead of making that work, we get this whole thing with uma thurman. she plays an art dealer who is also a superhero. the two of them meet and start dating, but uma thurman's character is completely insane and wilson wants out. she flips and begins stalking him. all the while there is some sort of random story going on about an evil bad guy who is after our heroine. the movie might have worked if thurman's character wasnt so absolutely insane. he isnt just a needy girlfriend, she is a desperate stalker for no good reason. oh, and one more thing, why the hell is luke wilson the lead in this movie?!? i dont think it is physically possible to find someone with less of a leading man personality! this guy is a vacuum of emotions, they would have been better off with a cardboard cutout of anyone else! i've never noticed how bad he is until this movie, but to be honest, it could just be that the whole movie sucks and its just making it more apparent.

max

a provocative film that speculates on the life of one of history's biggest villians: adolf hitler. the movie looks at his younger life as he attempts to become a professional artist. max, played by john cusack, is the art dealer who takes a shining to the marginally talented adolf and tries to get him to develop into a better artist with something to say. finding that his skill as an artist is limited, adolf rebels against the art scene and instead begins to push the envelope in his political views instead of his artistic views. the concept is interesting indeed, but we dont really get much of an inside look at adolf himself, instead we only get the perspective of an art dealer who befriends him who is just as confused about the aimless boy as everyone else is. noah taylor does a great job with the unenviable task of trying to make hitler likable, but the story itself doesnt quite allow us to like him. its as if the film makers are trying to make him human, but are just not willing to make him relatable. an interesting film, but misses the mark.

insomnia

in an attempt to watch all of christopher nolan's movies, i came across this one. he made this one after memento and before the batman ones. it follows a lawman, played by al pacino as he travels to alaska to try and find a killer. the killer, played by robin williams, stays ever elusive, well at least until he finds out a few things about pacino's shady past. then we get an interesting game of cat and mouse, each one of course thinks he's the cat and has the other one pinned with something he can use to blackmail the other. all the while an honest local sheriff, played by hilary swank, is helping out pacino and starts to put the pieces together about both of them.
its a pretty interesting film with the character's conscience being symbolized by their inability to sleep. this is due to the fact that they are in an alaskan summer where the sun doesnt go down for days at a time. the twists and turns along the way are pretty interesting and robin williams does a great job as the creepy killer. its certainly one of nolan's lesser works, but it is well done.

predator 2

if a movie is a big hit, the logical next step would be to make a sequel, right? well, the sequels of today are a bit different then the way they used to do it. back in the day they would make a sequel of a good movie as quickly and cheaply as possible. well, this one is the perfect example of that strategy. in the first one they have arnold schwarzenegger in the jungle battling a mysterious hunter alien. in this one it seems the best they could get was danny glover. and this time the jungle is switched with l.a.. now, there are a lot of problems with this movie, the first of which is that it doesnt make any sort of sense. if you buy into the conceit of the first movie, that these creatures are here to hunt us, making no distinction between any of its prey. then why does it only seem to kill the bad guys in this one? also, the action makes no real sense, there is no connection from one (mass) killing to the next. they go from a drug ring killing to a random subway killing (and by the way, there's a subway in l.a. that people actually ride?!?). and this movie also breaks the cardinal rule of any monster movie: it shows us way too much of the monster! this thing is supposed to be lurking in the shadows, not chilling out in a cemetery during the day, or taking a pit stop in an old woman's bathroom! any sort of excitement and mystery that we might have felt by seeing the predator is completely gone because we see too much of him! oh, and dont even get me started on how lame the ending is when danny glover just happens to find himself in the predator's spaceship. the only cool thing this movie gives us is the alien head in the predator's trophy room which then leads to the alien vs. predator movies. oh wait, maybe that wasnt so cool...

the bodyguard

i havent seen this one in over 15 years, so all i really remember of it is the whitney houston soundtrack. and i'll bet i am not alone on that either... turns out, its actually a pretty decent flick! i didnt intend to watch it, i was just channel surfing one afternoon and came upon it on one of those lifetime channels- and i got sucked in! i'm a big fan of kevin costner, so i guess i was predisposed to stop on it and give it a chance. the film follows costner, a safety obsessed bodyguard, as he is assigned to keep houston's character safe. she is a huge movie star/musician who is nominated for an oscar and has a crazy stalker who is after her. i'm sure you can figure out that over the course of the film they fall in love and the stalker gets closer and closer. its a bit predictable, but the suspense that is built over the course of the movie is gripping and by the end, the twists and turns are done well enough to really invest you in it. not too bad for a predictable love story!

evolution

when i first saw this one i remember liking it a lot, but i think over time my affection for it has worn off a bit. maybe its because the special effects have aged, or maybe its because the plot holes in this contrived movie become larger and larger.
the story follows a couple guys who come across a meteorite that has fallen to earth and starts producing alien life. the title comes from the fact that these aliens start off as single cell organisms, but quickly evolve into plants, worms, insects, animals, apes, and eventually a huge giant creature of some sort. as these two ill equipped guys try to do what ever they can, the military gets involved and messes everything up (which they always seem to do in movies, dont they?). the humor falls pretty flat, and the obvious attempt to capitalize on the recycled 'ghostbusters' formula doesnt really work here. the one saving grace to this film, that keeps it from completely falling apart, is david duchovny, who got to stretch his comedy chops for the first time on the big screen in this movie. unfortunately, its not enough to keep this movie afloat.