the proposal

i wanted to see this one in the theater, but for some reason my wife did not. i enjoy a good sandra bullock movie, and i'm always up for a ryan reynolds flick, so i figured this would be right up my alley. it was pretty good too, a minor entry into the chick flick cannon. the set up is that reynolds works for bullock and she is a mean demanding boss. she is from canada and finds herself about to loose her job because her visa ran out. she cons reynolds into marrying her for a green card. the government employee isnt buying it, so bullock invites herself to see his family up in alaska to prove that its true. reynolds must try to keep up the scam in front of his family, and hilarity ensues... well, i wouldnt go so far as to say hilarity, but it is pretty harmless fun. for my money, ryan reynolds is one of the funniest actors around, so its pretty hard to have him in a movie and there not to be at least a few good laughs. the whole thing is pretty predictable, but its fun none the less.

pagemaster

i dont know why, but i had high hopes for this one. granted, its a movie that has completely disappeared since it arrived in theaters, but i remember wanting to see it at the time. this past weekend my brother in law and seven year old nephew came over and i thought that it might be a good one to watch with my nephew.
the story follows a boy, played by mackulay culkin, who is too worried about safety. he finds himself in a library and is drawn into a magical book that turns him into an animated character. while in there he befriends three different book characters: horror, adventure, and fantasy. the four of them then go on different journeys through those three genres, eventually having to fight off the mighty dragon! along the way he learns that safety is important, but so is fun. the live action stuff is fine, but once we get to the animation it is so poorly done. the lines and color are all washed out to the point where the characters all blend in with the backgrounds and its hard to tell them each apart! remember the old don bluth style of animation? well, this is even more bland and beige (if thats even possible...). the characters are also really annoying and the journey is not at all interesting. really a disappointment. but my nephew enjoyed it, so theres that...

hellbound: hellraiser 2

this movie picks up soon after the first one. the main character from the first movie is now checked into a mental hospital because of the crazy stuff she witnessed. she doesnt remember how she got there, but wants to get out. she has the creepy pandora's box and begins to have hallucinations about these creatures coming after her. are they hallucinations, or are they real? eventually she gets taken to the mysterious realm that these demons are from and we get to see the horrors that await her there. too bad the horrors are not even remotely horrible. they are actually quite lame. i dont know if this stuff ever passed as scary, but it certainly doesnt hold up to today. its mostly just a bunch of chains, knives, and smoke blowing around giving the illusion of something scary. the creatures are not at all frightening, due to poor lighting and bad production. the ending is actually really funny, which i dont think was their intent... i cant believe that this series lived on to include four more entries. i guess if it makes a buck, why not, right?

beverly hills chihuahua

i knew eventually i would be seeing this movie. my wife and i have a chihuahua, so it was only a matter of time before she talked me into watching it with her and our dog.
the generic story follows a spoiled rich dog as she gets lost and kidnapped (dognapped?) in mexico and must find her way home. along the way she meet some friends and some enemies, and of course there is a life lesson to be learned as well. very bland and predictable. the movie would have gotten only one star because its so dumb, but there is one scene in the movie that elevates it higher than that: as they are traveling through the mexican country side, the dogs come across a whole tribe of chihuahuas that live in an ancient aztek city where they are encouraged to keep on their course by a the king chihuahua. he gives a speech rousing the dogs where he talks about how 'grand' and 'proud' the chihuahua race really is. he says 'we are not accessories to be carried around, we are mighty! we do not shiver because we are cold, we shiver because we are filled with pride, we are the mighty chihuahua!' and it is hysterical! the rest of the movie is garbage, but that one scene is hilarious!

hellraiser

i had known of this horror franchise but had never seen any of the films. well, i thought i'd give it a try since it was on tv anyway. the story follows a family who moves into an old family house. one of the brothers who had hit hard times had been shacking up there when he got a hold of this strange creepy box. he opened it and out came some chains and horrors and demons. his soul was then trapped in the floorboards of the attic of the house. the new family, mom, dad, and daughter, all move in. the mom, who had had an affair with the now dead brother-in-law, goes up in the attic and sees this creepy creature who has been rebirthed. that creepy creature happens to be the dead man. he needs more blood to return back to normal and grow his body back, so the wife lures in men to have an affair with and then kills them to feed the dead brother. while this is all going on, the demons who had tortured him find out that he has escaped their curse, so they return to get what they feel belongs to them. the whole thing is terribly 80's, with the bad hair and the bad fashion. some of the effects and make-up work on the demons still holds up as being pretty creepy, though. as the film heads to its climax it becomes obvious that the production ran out of money because the ending is absolutely terrible! any good effects are thrown out the window and replaced by obvious puppetry and poorly done green screen. pinhead, the main demon of the film, has since become a famous horror monster, but the start of his reign of terror in this film is only scary because of how laughable it is.

paranormal activity 2

after diana and i saw the first paranormal activity movie, we loved it, but were freaked out for weeks! we slept with the light on for more than one night... so it was with trepidation that we went to see the second one. we were both worried that it would be as creepy as the first one, but also kind of secretly hopeful that it would be.
turns out that it was pretty creepy, but neither of us lost any sleep over it. this one is just like the first in that it is found footage from a family that is dealing with some strange events around their house. the first one was about a woman and her boyfriend, this one is about her relatives as they deal with the same strange presence. the movie did a good job of slowly building the tension, letting us get to know the family before we start to see the weird things happening. the quality was still there and the creepy factor was in full effect, but i think it suffers from the fact that we have seen this before. there were some new twists in this story that were different from the last one, but it just didnt get under my skin the way the last one did. i liked the way they tied in the first one with this though. over all, it was a good scary movie, just not the homerun of the first.

surrogates

i didnt really have any interest in seeing this one, but my wife's step sister actually worked on the set of this movie, so i figured id give it a try. she did warn me that it was pretty bad. turns out she was right.
the story is set in the not too distant future where they have created robot avatars that people can link up to and live through while still staying in the comfort of their own home. by this point most people do everything through their surrogate robots instead of going out and doing anything themselves. as the story unfolds we find that there is someone out there who has been killing the surrogates and the people linked in to them are dying too, which is something that has never happened before. bruce willis plays a cop who ditches his surrogate to try and get to the bottom of it all.
is sounds like a pretty interesting idea, but it really never goes anywhere. the whole thing gets muddled up with anti technology rebels and the guy who created the surrogates in the first place. the whole movie is a terrible mess, and worst of all: its boring. from the stories we heard, it sounds like the problems started on the set between the actors and director and he never seemed to be able to make anything of interest out of it.

romy and michelle's high school reunion

ok, to be honest, this movie is pretty bad. i cant lie about that. but the thing is that they know its bad and have a great time with it anyway! the set up is pretty simple, in fact, i dont even need to explain the plot, its all right there in the title! romy and michelle, two best friends, go to their high school reunion. thats it. the fun comes from the way it all plays out, and the great casting as well. lisa kudrow, as michelle, is pitch perfect, her line delivery is amazing, in fact, the little 'huh' noises she adds to the end of her statements are what saves this movie from being complete rubbish! this is especially true when you hear mira sorvino delivering her lines as romy- terrible! there is just something wrong with her voice or something, she is the definition of a bad actress (how she won an acadamy award is beyond me...). one of the funniest moments of the film is when the two of them start dancing with allen cummings- its worth watching just for that dance!
anyway, i cant justify enjoying this movie, but i did anyway.

shutter island

i've never understood all the praise for martin scorsese. i have seen many of his movies and dont really care that much for most of them. well, i finally found one i rather liked. shutter island is about a detective who comes aboard an island mental ward in order to help with the disappearance of one of the residents. the mood is created well, and dicaprio does a good job of drawing us into the mystery. we watch as he finds that some of the stories dont quite add up and he begins to piece together the clues. its a pretty good little yarn, but the twists and turns along the way were pretty easy for me to see coming. i dont know if that was true for everyone who saw it, but this was one of the rare times where i figured it out really early in the movie. most times i just let the movie take me away, but i kind of figured it out months ago from the first previews they showed for the movie. having not read anything about it, i knew what the twists were before i even started the film (and thats not due to the usual reading of reviews or anything!) so maybe the problem i had with the film wasnt the film at all, but was in the marketing giving away too much. anyway, all considered, its a pretty good flick and worth watching. i've heard that its better the second time through, but i didnt have time to watch it again, it was only a rental!

beowulf and grendel

maybe i watched this version of the beowulf story too closely to watching the animated version of the story, because in comparison, this one really really sucks! the story is the same one we have heard retold so many times: the king angers the beast grendel, he attacks the town. they call in a warrior in beowulf, and he takes down the beast but must then contend with grendel's mother. this one is rather flat and the creature make up is really lousy. its no wonder it went straight to video, where it belongs. i will admit though, the landscapes were breathtaking!

a dog's breakfast

after going to the stargate convention (i know, i'm a nerd and am ok with it) and seeing david hewlett there, i decided to give his directorial debut a try. there were many fans saying how they liked it, so i wanted to see if it was any good or not. well, its not.
the story is about a cooky shut-in, played by hewlett, who's sister comes to visit and she brings along a surprise: her fiancee! she's there to introduce him to her brother and hopefully get him to accept the new man in her life. well, hewlett doesnt take too kindly to him and overhears a conversation that sounds like the fiancee is cheating on his sister. he takes matters into his own hands and ends up killing the fiancee, accidentally of course, but kind of on purpose. he quickly buries the body and tries to hide the whole thing from his sister. the guilt haunts him, and so does the body of the fiancee...
the story is alright, the murder/accident and its cover-up are meant to be comedic and played for laughs. most of the humor seems to stem from silly sound effects that accompany a quick turn or a hit to the head. the problem is that its not really funny at all, which is never good for a movie that bills itself as a comedy. the one nice thing that i liked about the movie is that everyone in it is from a stargate tv series, which brings the score up from one star, which is what it should really be.

hot tub time machine

this one should have been a homerun. i was so excited about this one and so ready to love it. then i saw it. it was pretty disappointing. the set up is great: four guys are partying and remembering the good old days back when they were kids, then they happen to be whisked back to the 80's with their hot tub time machine! they get to go back and relive their glory days for a single night. sounds like the perfect opportunity to show all kinds of really funny 80's nostalgia type things, right? well they do, but its not nearly as funny as it should be. i mean, they've some how convinced mr. 80's himself, john cusack, to be in it, but it still never really leaves the cleaver premise. this thing had all the makings of a movie that would take off and really be filled with great zingers and perfect moments of reliving their youth, but instead it just kind of sits there with half hearted jokes that fall pretty flat. with this being the competition, i guess bill and ted (and marty mcfly) are still the kings of the time machine.

the red violin

what a great movie! i've seen this one before and recently rewatched it. the story follows the life of a violin that was made in the 1500s as it goes up for auction. there are many people bidding on it and the film flashes back through the violin's 500 year journey to see where it has been. we start by learning about the man who made it with such loving care. then we go through and see some of the different people who have played it over the years and how those stories are a driving force for some of the different people who are bidding on it at the modern auction. we see a monastery bidding because it was a part of their collection for over one hundred years and plays an important part in the life of that church, a museum wants it because it was an inspiration for a famous composer, a chinese family wants it because it was a part of their family's anti-communism past, and a rich man wants it just because he's greedy! each of these flashbacks give so much life and depth to the journey of the violin and its importance. the stories are compelling and draw you in to care about each of the people who are bidding on the violin at the auction that by the end you dont really know who to be rooting for. an amazing story (well, stories) fantastically told.

aladdin and the king of thieves

i was just the right age when aladdin came out in theaters that i was totally enamoured with it. i loved it and memorized all the songs! a year or two later disney was about to start its foray into straight-to-video animated sequels. it is a standard practice now a days, but back then it was something quite amazing to an impressionable child! i immediately convinced my parents to let me purchase (yes, i purchased it with my own hard earned money!) 'aladdin 2: the return of jafar'. turned out that the straight to video stuff wasnt quite of the same quality. actually, i wouldnt even use the word 'quality' in the same sentence... having learned my lesson, i resolved to never again be sucked in by these poor animated follow ups. so, when the third aladdin movie came out a couple years later, i avoided it at all costs. i didnt get suckered in to buy it, but i was always curious about it and wanted to see it anyway. fast forward a dozen or so years and now i finally had the opportunity to see it, so i did! turns out, i wasnt missing anything.
i know this isnt really a review of the movie, but the story of my wanting to see the movie is infinitely more interesting that anything in the movie! ok, fine, here's the story: aladdin meets his dad and finally married jasmine. and its crap. the end. now you happy?

(500) days of summer

this is a pretty good movie. its kind of a chick flick, but its still quite good. the story takes the traditional love story, but jumbles it all up. it follows joseph gordon-levitt as he meets and falls in love with a girl named summer. the interesting thing about this movie though, is that we jump in and out of the days they have been together which are shown out of order. which means that we see the relationship as its ending even before we get to see them 'meet cute'. due to the mixed up order of events, we see an unusual view of what these two go through in their relationship. another difference between this love story and most is that its the boy who is head over heels in love, and the girl who is slightly aloof. this movie is exactly what the tag line for it says: this is not a love story, its a story about love. and as it turns out, its not necessarily about thier love together. an interesting take, and one worth watching.