twilight: new moon

ok, i will admit, this one is better than the first. granted, thats not saying much, considering that the first twilight movie was crippled by an incompetent director. this time around we actually get a strong director who knows how to tell a story that can be understood! the story is this: the girl loves the aloof vampire boy, but he left, so she starts to fall for kind werewolf boy. thats about all you need to know. the story was set up in the last film and it doesnt have any sort of resolution in this film. this is to be expected, due to this uninteresting love triangle needs to last through five movies, so there is no way they would actually have anything of significance in the second film, right? so why did we have to watch it then? i dont know... one thing i will say for this movie, though, taylor lautner does a great job as jacob. when he is on screen the film works, it pulls together and gets moving. when he is gone it is reduced to mopey dark teenage angst. i dont know what 'it' is, but he has got 'it'!

sherlock holmes

this one was pretty good, but there was a lot that was also pretty bad. this reimagining of the shirlock holmes series does a good job of taking what we know of holmes and changing it enough to make it fresh again. the relationship between the detective and watson is by far the best part of the film, law and downey have great chemistry and are a riot to watch play off of each other. its interesting to see holmes as the imbalanced neurotic and watson as the rock he relies on. as for the case featured in this movie? well, its pretty lame. what has been causing these strange things to happen around london? turns out its just a bunch of smoke, mirrors, and the freemasons. or something like that. my biggest problem with the film was the way they tried to shoehorn in a bunch of unnecessary special effects and action where none belonged. for example, all the stuff that happened at the shipyard was fun to look at, but played absolutely no part in furthering the story- they went there after a fight scene where the bag guys got away, after the action at the shipyard, they get away again. serves no purpose at all. also, the finale where they are on the unfinished london bridge. why would the bad guy go there to kill the girl? because it looked cool. otherwise it is complete nonsense that they would even be up there at all. great characters (well, actually, great casting), but not that great of a movie.

mixed nuts

ugh. the less said about this one the better...
jon steward, who is in this movie, recently refered to it when interviewing liev schreiber, who is also in this movie. jon said 'you know what surprised me about that movie? so here is this movie, its norah ephron, steve martin, gary shandling, rob reiner, adam sandler, parker posey. and you go into it thinking 'this is going to be amazing!', and i remember seeing it thinking 'oh my god! this sucks! i dont understand!'

avatar

truly an incredible film.  the 3D and effects are second to none, totally worth seeing just to be immersed into this amazing world.  granted, the story leaves a bit to be desired, its basically a mix of 'dances with wolves' and 'ferngully'.  but the reality of storytelling is that there are no new stories, its about how you tell the story.  and this one tells it with such beautiful imagery that the story's shortcomings aren't even noticed until you walk out of the theater.

men who stare at goats

a pretty strange movie, but a fun one. this movie follows our hero, ewan mcgregor, a journalist, as he tries to make sense of the strange things he discovers. he finds himself caught up with an unusual branch of the military, lead by jeff bridges (who seems to be channeling 'the dude' if he were a hippie... and in the military) that investigates and tests psychics. the story is strange, and everyone in it seems to be having a blast, much of which comes off on screen. one of the best parts is when mcgregor, who played obi wan in the prequel star wars trilogy, makes a reference to feeling like a jedi with all this psychic stuff going on. this one is strange, but a bunch of fun.

the box

this is one of those films that has a great premise, but doesnt have any follow through. the set up is this: a young family finds themselves in a really difficult financial situation, there is no way they can make ends meet. well, one day a box arrives at their front door. a man arrives to explain what the box is: its a button that the couple can press. if they press it, they will receive a bundle of money with no stipulations. the catch is this: when they press the button someone will die. sounds great, doesnt it? filled with moral ambiguity and some real deep implications: would you be willing to kill someone in order to gain financially?
well, the problem is that this film soon falls apart and doent really deal with the question itself. it is tossed off soon after the decision is made. instead we get some random stuff about the wife's foot and the husband's desire to be an astronaut. it comes together in the last minute or two with another interesting concept, but when the great ideas are not dealt with all through out the movie, the introduction of a new interesting twist at the end doesnt save this one from being very disappointing. it plays like an episode of the twilight zone. but not a very good episode.

boondock saints: all saints day

the first one was so good that this one is embarassing. really, its just plain embarassing. i'd write more, but i dont care to waste more of my life on this crap fest.

best of the decade

everyone seems to be not only making their 'best of the year' lists, but since its '09 already, there are also a ton of 'best of the decade' lists as well. i figure i should get in on this action and make a 'best of' list as well. my criteria is not set in stone. some of these movies are my favorites of all time, but others are just ones that i love and would gladly sit down and watch almost any day of the week. some you might agree with, other choices might make you reevaluate my opinion on films altogether. this list isnt meant to be an end all be all of good movies for the decade, in fact some of these movies i havent seen in many years, i just have a very fond memory of them when i saw them and the experience has stuck with me.

now, i know its a cop out, but i'm not putting these films in any particular order, so its not ranked 1-10 or anything. so here it is, my list of the best movies of the decade:

unbreakable (2000)-
back when 'the sixth sense' was still a fresh memory and the director m night shyamalan was heralded as the next big thing he released this gem. its an intimate story of a man who survives a train crash. when he returns home he and his estranged wife decide to take this as a sign and once again work on fixing their relationship. the fact that he survived the accident unharmed starts to raise questions in his mind and through the prodding of an art dealer, he begins to investigate his own past. why did he survive when no one else did? he starts to realize that he actually had never been injured. ever, in his whole life. through out the course of the film he begins to realize that he might very well be invincible. how this affects his wife and his son is played out with such delicate storytelling and honest searching is why this movie is so amazing. watching the story unfold in slow folds, and the budding romance once again welling in he and his wife is what makes the characters and the little moments between them so moving. how bruce willis and robin wright didnt get oscars for this is a travesty. i know i said this list isnt in any order, but this film is by far my favorite of the decade.

memento (2000)-

an amazing start to what would soon become an outstanding career, this is the first film by christopher nolan (who went on to make 'the prestige' and 'the dark knight'). the most startling this about the film is its structure. the story is of a man trying to catch the killer of his wife. the problem, though, is that he has a mental condition where he has no short term memory, so he can only remember stuff that happened to him before his wife's murder and only about the last five or ten minutes. in order for us, the audience, to understand the challenge of not remembering what happened, nolan forces us to not know what happened by mixing up the order of the film. it starts at the end of the story and goes back, in five to ten minute blocks, back to the beginning. this makes for a very disorienting viewing- we dont know what happened that got us to the point we are at now, just like the main character. as a way to try and remember some of the important details about who killed his wife, he tattoos clues onto his body. as the story plays out (backwards), the revelations keep coming. the ending (or should i say beginning) is highly unexpected and makes this film one that you want to watch again immediately after you finish your first viewing.

matrix reloaded (2003)-

a lot of people seemed to be disappointed by this film because it was not as groundbreaking as the original. i didnt feel that way at all. i thought they did a wonderful job of fleshing out the world they created in the first film, and expanding it into a full fledged epic. if the first film took us down the rabit hole, then this one showed us what marvels were down there- a real glimpse of wonderland. i rewatched it and reviewed it earlier this year, you can read that here.

serenity (2005)-

my love for this movie is deep. mostly that is because of the television show that it is based on: 'firefly'. i came very late to the game on this one, when i first saw previews for this film i went and picked up the series on dvd. i quickly gobbled up all 14 episodes and fell in love. it is a sci-fi western (kinda wierd, i know) that follows a rag tag crew as they travel the universe trying to stay out of trouble, but always seem to get in it anyway. the cast is loveable, and the stories are fantastic. the show was cancelled after only one season on fox. the dvds sold so well that they actually made a feature film based on the show. the world is created and written by joss whedon, who is geek royalty. when given the go ahead on a feature length film, he threw together all the ideas he had in store for the show if it had had a second season. therefore this film is, in essence, a greatest hits collection of what would have been the second season of the show. the character developments in the show were so strong that the movie is able to do a lot without having to spend too much time on setting things up (an uncommon privilege for a first movie). all the story points are wonderful as we see each character grow and change. there are a bunch of character payoffs that had been layed down during the television series, and also some tragedies that hit hard because of our developed relationship with these crew members. a fantastic story that i could watch often (and have!).

primer (2004)-

could time travel really happen? that is the question that this film daftly answers. this independent film, made for just a few thousand dollars, deals with two guys who happen upon a strange discovery: they have figured out how to really travel through time. they then have to deal with the sticky problems it brings. as unbelievable as the premise is, the writers have dealt with time travel in a way that makes sense. the logic behind it is almost air tight, and thats why things become so hard to understand. there are limits, there are rules, and there are consequences to time travel in a way i had never thought of. we see these two guys try to deal with it even as they begin to turn on each other. the story gets confusing at the end, but that just makes it more compelling. when i saw this film the first time, i started it again immediately after i was done. and then i watched it a third time. it confused me, it exhilarated me, and it drew me in. its an odd little film and i love any chance i can get to show it to someone new and experience it again for the first time.

once (2006)-

the music. oh, the music! i was lucky enough to see this film in the theater (twice) and be swept away by the melody it brings. its a simple story of a man who loves to sing. his path crosses with a foreign woman who talks with him and plays music with him. their stories, music, and hearts intertwine for a short time, but it is magic to behold. the film is, in essence, a musical. the great thing though, is that it is not a traditional musical where the characters are talking and then break out in song and dance, rather the characters in it sit down and sing. they make music together as musicians, which leads them to a recording studio and briefly into each other's souls. its a love story, but more a love story about the love of music than any romantic type of love. soon their paths take them in different directions, but the music they shared and created continue to exist even after their time together. i must admit that immediately after walking out of the theater the first time i saw it i went straight to the store to buy the soundtrack- its no wonder that the ballad from the film won an oscar for best original song!

crank (2006)-

there's violence, there's gratuitous violence, and then there's crank. the story, starring one of my favorites jason statham, follows a guy who wakes up poisoned by a gang who is trying to kill this hitman. the poison is going to kill him once it reaches his heart. the only way to keep it out of his heart is by keeping his adrenaline up. basically, its 'speed', but without the bus! the story is over the top, the action is non-stop, and the style is ludicrous. which makes it all the better! everything in the film is done with a fun 'devil may care' abandon that allows us to see this terrible man and all the terrible things he has done, but still root for him none the less. there is a giddy playfulness in the violence that makes it so you cant help but root for him. as far as guilty pleasures go- this is the guiltiest. and the most pleasurable!

traffic (2000)-

when i first saw this movie i was just starting to learn that life was not black and white, rather, there are grays everywhere. this film is a collection of different stories that all deal with the difficult topic of drugs. one character is trying to fight the good fight by standing up against corruption in the police force in mexico, another is trying to bring a drug boss to justice, one is trying to bring the real problem to light in our nations capitol, even has his daughter is beginning to be sucked in by this dark underworld. the stories overlap and play into one another. the stories arent easy, no one has a clear decision to make. but each of them deals with the reality of the drug world and how it can and does effect those around them. the most daring part of the film is that it doesnt give any answers. it comes to this honest truth: will we win the war on drug? no, but we have to keep trying.

hellboy (2004)-

as a lover of comic books growing up, i always dreamed of my favorite characters making it to the big screen. by the time it actually happened, i wasnt really into those comics any more. spiderman? pass. x-men? maybe when i was 14. superman? lame. but there was one comic book that i loved that i never got tired of: hellboy! i had read everything that had been written with him in it. the art was amazing- i spend many a night recreating those images from the comic into my sketchbook. my love for shadow and black spaces in art comes directly from the amazing artwork by mike mignola (the creator of hellboy). i also had fallen in love with the directing of guillermo del toro after seeing 'the devil's backbone', and 'blade 2'. and then to hear that del toro was making hellboy? oh, it was just too much! and to top it all off, ron perlman was going to play the big red guy?!? i hardly needed to even see the film to know it was going to be fantastic! and when i saw it it was just as much fun, just as graphically amazing, just as weird and funny as i hoped it would be. this is a case of fanboy love, high expectations, and exceeded expectations. i went to go see this one 4 times in the theater, bringing everyone i knew with me each time- and always having a great time!

grindhouse (2007)-

this one is a bit unusual. its actually two movies, and has been released on dvd as two separate movies: planet terror, and death proof. while each of these movies by themselves are by no means the best movies i have ever seen, it the experience that puts in on this list.

the directors of the two films wanted to recreate the experience of a grindhouse theater in the 1970's where you could go see a double billing of two exploitation films back to back. that is exactly what happens in this movie. when we went to go see it, the movie starts with some cheesy 70's 'feature presentation' graphics, then cuts to 'planet terror', a cheesy zombie movie. the film is presented to look like it is on grainy film with hairs stuck in the projector. in fact, there is a whole portion of the movie missing- it just shows the film burning off the projector, a sign that reads 'reel missing', and then cuts right back into the film, which is right in the middle of an action scene! we missed a good 15 minutes of the film! after the credits roll on planet terror, we are shown a bunch of previews for more grindhouse style films- but the kicker is that none of these previewed films actually exist. then its back to the second film, another poorly projected movie called 'death proof', which is about a killer car driver.

now, keep in mind, i'm not saying that either of these movies are particularly good, its just that the presentation and the experience lift this up to be one of the most fun experiences in the theater i've had in 10 years.

prince of egypt

its rare to read a book and then see a movie and it turns out the movie was better than the book. when it happens its noteworthy, when the book in question is the Bible, then its down right shocking! i've read the story of moses a million times and always been impressed, but i never imagined it as good as this movie portrays! i've seen this movie about 30-40 times in my life, 4 times while it was in the theater, once with friends, once alone, once with my mother (who only goes to the theater about once every 5 years), once with my grandfather (who hadnt been to the theater since the 1960's!). i have the soundtrack and memorized every one of the songs. even after seeing it so many times, it still gives me startling shivers because of the awe and wonder it evolks. to say i love this movie would be a huge understatement. i am actually having a hard time putting into words just how much i love this movie!

transformers: revenge of the fallen

wow, what a load of crap this movie is. i had heard terrible things about it, but for some reason i still wanted to see for myself. sometimes when people talk about a movie being bad, i still want to see it because it might just be a fun kind of bad. well, this one wasnt. it was a bad kind of bad. the story (if you can call it that) is set a few years after the first one and our hero is heading off to college. turns out that the transformers arent done with him yet, and the action begins. and then it never stops. the problems with this film are many, here are just a couple: first, all the transformers look alike, when they are in battle (which happens to be all the time) it is so hard to make any sense of what is going on because they all look the same!!! another problem comes from the characterizations of the robots, there are a couple of them that are really really terrible stereotypes that every time they were on screen i would cringe with disgust! another problem with the film is that it seems like everything has to be over the top. not just over the top, but over the top of the top! let me give you an example: not only does the main character have to have a barking dog, but that dog has to be humping another barking dog, not only that, but they have to be humping on the couch, and again later on a bird feeder?!? that doesnt even make sense! and that example is in the first 5 minutes of the movie- it gets much worse from there!
i guess that will teach me to buy into the advertising hype...

where the wild things are

this movie is stunning. i dont really have any sort of fond memories of the book its self, but the commercials for this one drew me in. its a children's story, but the movie is not really geared toward them, its a very dark and depressing film that mines the depths of sorrow and sadness. not really the stuff of children's fair. there isnt anything offensive in it and would be perfectly appropriate for children, but much of it would be over theyre heads and they might consider it 'boring'. that is not the case at all for me. i found this film to be enchanting and very moving. the story follows a boy named max as he deals with normal life. he lives with his mom and big sister. max is a bit strange and seems to be antisocial. he has a great time building a snow fort and throwing snowballs at his sister and her friends, but once one of the friends comes over and destroys his fort he gets very mad. he takes out his anger on his mother and is sent to his room. from there he escapes and somehow winds up in this magical land filled with creatures and beasts. the movie follows his time with the beasts, who are pretty somber wild things, to say the least. there is fun at first, but it quickly deteriorates into more sadness and the realization that life is not all fun and games. some times things can hurt.
the film deals with this sadness in a way that really shows what it can be like to feel depressed. by the end, nothing is solved, but thats like life, nothing gets solved, we just learn to deal with it. a moving lesson for max to learn, and a moving film for us to learn it too.

forgetting sarah marshall

finally got around to seeing this and it is pretty funny! i really like jason segal, and he does a great job in this one. his lazy sad-sack roll here was played perfectly and the contrived story of him going on vacation alone to the same place that his ex is actually played pretty well. it was almost believable that they would happen to be in the same resort accidentally- just because its one of those things that is so ridiculous that it becomes believable.
we follow him as he tries to come to terms with his break up and as he begins to fall for one of the girls at the resort. we also get a look into the relationship his ex is having now, which is where we meet up with russell brandt- who is hilarious!
the movie is a lot of fun- hey, its worth watching just for the muppet vampire song!

meet the robinsons

this was on tv the other day and diana wanted to watch it, so we gave it a shot. the story follows a young orphan boy who loves to invent, he tries to get ready for his school's science fair, but while there he meets another boy who says he's trying to save him from the man with the bowler hat. the orphan goes with him and is shown a time machine where they go into the future, where the second boy is from. while there he meets the family and they all work together to defeat the bowler hat guy. if that sounds strange, it aint the half of it! this movie is very random and startlingly unusual! turns out, the bad guy isnt the guy, its the bowler hat! there are also a bunch of singing frogs! and a t. rex. huh?!? i dont know who this movie was intended for, but i'm sure it gave most people a pretty good headache. there are some really fun moments through out the movie, especially when we first meet the future family- there is a really great bit with tom selleck! after watching the whole movie, i'm pretty sure the writers were smoking some pretty strong stuff...

joseph: king of dreams

i watch this movie at least twice a year. not necessarily because its so good, which it actually is pretty good, but because i show it to my sixth graders every hear as we go over the story of joseph. this animated movie was a straight to video release from dreamworks a year or two after their first foray into biblical animated movies with 'the prince of egypt'. this one follows the story of jacob's favorite son, joseph. the animation style is the same as prince of egypt and fits perfectly with the story being told. the style actually varies a lot during the dreams joseph has or interprets. each of the dreams have a unique style from the rest of the film and are done mostly with computer images instead of hand drawn images like the rest of the movie. in fact, one of the dreams actually looks like a moving van gogh painting- very cool! the story strays from scripture quite a bit, but the ideas and basics of the tale are still there. the original songs are good too, there arent any musical number that get everyone on screen singing and dancing, rather, most of the songs are sung as if it were a commentary on the story, used over top of a montage. ben affleck does a good job as the speaking voice of joseph, with this kind of vocal talent, its obvious that dreamworks had high hope for a continued bible themed video franchise. its too bad they didnt make any more, if this one is any indication, there would have been quite a few more good ones to come!

failure to launch

ugh. remember when matthew mcconaughey had so much potential? when he first burst onto the scene in 'a time to kill' he was heralded as the next great actor. so why does he keep making such trite crap as this?!? i'm guessing its one of those situations where he had to decide 'should i work hard and make great movies, or should i just take it easy and cash in the big checks?' with movies like this, 'how to loose a guy in 10 days', 'fools gold', 'ghosts of girlfriends past', and others, i think we know exactly which choice he made...
this movie is like so many other cookie cutter romantic comedies that its not really even necessary to talk about the plot. the movie is lame, its only saving grace is the best friends of the two generic leads. zooey daschanel plays the strange best friend and gets all the best lines, mcconaughey's buddies are played with comedic success by justin bartha and bradley cooper (who later worked together again, with much success, in 'the hangover'). the two leading characters are worthless and bland, but the best friends pull the movie from a one star to a two star rating.

p.s. why do the men in these movies always end up getting together with the woman who was a total jerk to them? seriously? sarah jessica parker's character was hired to pretend she likes him so that he would move out of the house. how could he possibly forgive her for that?!? the whole relationship was built on a lie! she manipulated him for money, and then planned to break up with him once her requirements had been met. thats just plain evil! i'm sorry, but i don't think any chemistry in the world is going to overcome that terrible reality. and to top it all off, we as the audience are supposed to root for this terrible woman? thats messed up! in the real world, he would have yelled at her and never spoken to her again. also, those are some pretty messed up parents to hire her in the first place! they seem like such a nice family, why didn't they just talk about it with him? argh, these contrived premises are so ridiculous!

knowing

there are some movies you know going in are going to be pretty lame. this is one of those movies. the set up is this: 50 years ago a girl wrote a list of numbers and it was put into a time capsule. when it is dug up, nicolas cage realizes that it has been foretelling when horrific disasters will happen. he pieces it together and realizes that the last one written will be the apocalypse! cage tries his best to warn everyone, but no one will listen. so, he takes his boy and tries to find somewhere to hide so they can survive. pretty basic so far, but then it all goes really weird at the end. this is one of those movies where no one is actually acting like a real human being, they all use cheesy cliches like 'i think i've got a plan!' and then proceed to leave everyone in the dark but just run around with a determined look on his face. as far as the story line goes, logic has no place in this movie. the action builds and builds, we are never told where it is going, but something is definitely going to happen. something does happen, and boy is it stupid! the ending looses all semblance of reality and the movie looses all semblance of being worth while.

sliding doors

the movie starts with a very interesting idea: a woman is going about her day when she misses the subway train by a fraction of a second. now, what would have happened if she had made that train? this concept is played out in the movie, and it leads to two very distinct lives for her. if she made it home she would have found her boyfriend in bed with another woman, leading to their break-up and her finding someone new. if she missed the train she would not have caught her boyfriend, and instead, she would have stayed in the bad relationship and continued on with her unhappy life. great idea, not a great execution. the two alternating stories are told intermixed, which leads to quite a some confusion as we watch. at least until she decides to cut and color her hair in one of the stories. the problem with the movie, though, is that both stories fall pretty flat. sure, he is happier in one than the other, but neither story is very well told. and the ending is a pretty cheap concession in order to allow for an ending to the two tales. too bad, it held so much promise.

paranormal activity

over the weekend diana and i went to go see this movie. i had been hearing about it for the past several months, ever since it was featured at a few different film festivals. it finally came to our town, so we went to go see what the fuss was all about.
turns out, there was good reason for all the fuss, this movie is really scary! now, i want to start off by warning you that when we saw the movie i didn't let the hype get to me. i wasnt expecting it to be 'the scariest movie ever!!!' or anything, i was just expecting it to be pretty good. and it was. the premise is very basic: a couple have been hearing some strange noises in the night and having some unusual things happen in their house, so they buy a camera to see if they can record anything going on. well, they do. the footage they made is what this movie is supposed to be. yes, its very 'blair witch' like. if you didnt like blair witch, then certainly dont bother with this movie. i, on the other hand, really loved blair witch and found it to be very scary. this film has that same feel, except its in a house, not in the woods. there are some really great scares in this one, not the cheesy sort of boo! scares, but earned moments of dread that you see coming, but get you anyway. i'm sure there will be a backlash on this film soon, anything that gets this much buzz going always seems to. the truth of the matter is this: if you are willing to be scared and allow yourself to be drawn in by the mystery, you will have the time of your life. if you would rather act like you are too cool to be scared by it, then you wont. simple as that.
did my wife and i allow ourselves to be scared by it? well, we have slept with the light on for the past two nights...

reality bites

having never seen this movie before, i dont have any nostalgic love for it. i know many people around my age look to this movie as the pinnacle of 90's love stories, but i'm just not seeing it. perhaps i am now too far away from that decade to remember the mindset enough to be drawn in. the story follows a bunch of friends who graduate college and a few years later find themselves in dead end lives still trying to hold on to the optimism and rebelliousness they had in college. ryder's character finds herself torn between the slacker friend she always secretly pined for in college, and a new successful man she meets now. perhaps it says more about me that anything else, but when she goes to the slacker friend i was mad and felt she made the wrong choice. choosing to stay with the guy who is always cynical and pouty does not seem like the right choice, but maybe thats what being twentysomething in the 90's was all about. me? i prefer to be happy and striving for better things, not mopey and unmotivated. oh, and the tacked on story of a gay guy coming out just seemed like exactly what it was: tacked on. it added very little and came out of left field. also, the bit about ryder's character wanting to create a tv show with her recorded footage seems very dated and actually kind of cheesy now. in the era of youtube, this idea seems like a boring relic.

race to witch mountain

i had high hopes for this one. well, maybe not high, but at least some hopes for this one... i've loved the rock ever since he first appeared in his own movie (scorpion king) and have been rooting for him ever since. though i'm not a fan of his recent turn as a children's movie star, i am willing to go with him most of the time. thats why i was expecting something from this movie. unfortunately i was disappointed.
this movie follows the rock as a las vegas taxi driver (right, like thats believable...) when he picks up two kids and drives them where they need to go. as it turns out the two kids are aliens trying to get back to their ship and the rock gets caught up in the sci-fi craziness. even with all the ridiculous alien stuff in the movie, its still impossible to accept anything that happens in the movie. no one actually acts in a way that would be even slightly realistic and all the characters are terribly written making no logical sense though out the film. much of this could be forgiven if it were fun, but alas, the director makes no attempts at creating any sort of atmosphere or coherent storyline flow. the action kicks up almost immediately and there is never a point where it goes from empty noise to fun action. it feels like a rough sketch of a movie, but they never bothered to tighten up the action, the characters, or the point of it all. from start to finish it is a bumpy and unsatisfying ride.

burn after reading

what a strange little film! the story follows a guy who works for the government being fired, his wife gets sick of him and wants a divorce so she can go after the man she's sleeping with. the government guy looses a cd that has some harmless files on it, and two employees of a workout chain find it. they think it is sensitive government info, so they try to go james bond and sell it to the russians. sound crazy so far? well, thats only the first half hour! things get really complicated as everything falls apart for everyone involved. i think the best way i can describe the film is to say that its an american version of a guy ritchie movie- with different accents. if you've ever seen 'lock stock and two smoking barrels' or 'snatch', then you know what i mean...

stevie

diana and i were at the video store, she wanted to get a documentary about fashion, but they didnt have it. the guy behind the counter apologized, but then recommended another documentary we should watch. he told us that it was really interesting and moving and that we would really like it. we took a look at it, but decided against it. he then offered to let us rent it for free- now thats a deal! we took it and did watch it. his assessment of the movie was very accurate.
the film follows the director as he goes back to where he and his wife lived for a few years and he looks to see what ever happened to a boy that he had been a 'big brother' to for while before he and his wife moved. the boy's name is stevie, and he wasnt totally there, mentally. its been quite a few years since they last talked, but we see that stevie has gotten much worse. stevie's problem is that he seems to have the mind of a 13 year old boy stuck in a 30 year old man. he has a developmental problem that doesnt seem to allow him to think through his actions, and he has not yet understood how others are affected by what he does and says. he's totally functional, he has a job, drives, takes care of himself, all that. it just seems like he started his rebellious teen years of talking back and being selfish, but is still stuck in that place mentally. here is where the problem comes in: he is accused of sexually abusing a young girl and now might face jail time if he is convicted. the film centers around this situation, looking back at his own abused childhood, and asks how he could have gotten to the place he is now. why didn't anyone step in to help out or to point out the problems between then and now? we see many foster families that took him in, some were bad, but some were good influences on him. the question arises about if stevie himself was a victim of a failed system or if this is his own fault.
a very moving portrait of a conflicted man and the difficult situations that got him where he is. i'm glad the movie store guy let us rent it, its definitely worth seeing.

adventureland

this one looked so promising. its got a great cast: jesse eisenberg, who i have enjoyed ever since 'roger doger', ryan reynolds, who has been great in everything since 'two guys, a girl, and a pizza place', even bill hader and kristen wiig are usually good for a few laughs, i was even willing to put up with the constant hair-touching and lip-biting of kristen stewart. the problem, though, is that the movie falls completely flat. going in i thought it was going to be a comedy. why did i think that, you ask? well, because thats the way it was advertised. unfortunately thats not what this movie is. instead, it is a drama about a kid who likes a girl who is dating a married man and all the cliche melodrama that comes with it. there were a few funny moments, but most of them were spoiled in the previews. its a waste of a perfectly good cast- they even committed the cardinal sin: they had ryan reynolds- a comic genius- and they cast him as the serious married man! what were they thinking?!? lame.

district 9

wow, what a movie! i went in to this one expecting a reality style film with some strange aliens. turns out its an amazing action movie with a really deep message about race relations.
the story picks up 10 years after aliens arrive on our planet. they are stuck here because their ship is broken. their mothership has been hovering over johannesburg in africa all this time, and they are trying to live on our planet with the hope of someday fixing the ship and heading home. the harsh reality of their arrival though, is that we humans do not except them and instead have banished them to live in a containment camp. the movie begins as the aliens are being forced to move from the current camp into a different location away from the city, because their prescience there has brought crime and ruined that part of town. we follow a government worker as he goes around the camp informing the aliens that they must relocate. well, things start to go a bit wrong, as one might expect, and this government worker gets caught up in it.
needless to say, this film is an allegory of african apartheid and shows just how wretched it really was. the message is amazingly portrayed as the treatment of the aliens is gut wrenching. the film itself does a really great job of starting in a reality film style, but shifting to a standard movie, and back again really well. we feel so strongly for these aliens as the film also makes us reevaluate how we treat each other.

lion king 1 1/2

i recently rewatched this with my nieces and nephew and was reminded of how much fun the film is. the set up for this direct to video sequel of the original lion king film is that it starts off with timon and pumba sitting down to watch lion king. they get a little bored and instead want to watch what they were up to during the story of the first film. its a pretty clever concept: we get to see the events from the first film played out through the eyes of timon and pumba! now, in the original film they dont show up until about half way through, so there is a lot of story about simba and his family before we see timon and pumba doing their thing. this movie shows us what the were up to during that time, and we get their perspective of all the events of the original film. when all the animals are bowing to the new lion cub simba when he is born, timon and pumba were just traveling through to find a place for themselves to live, when simba is singing at the watering hole, timon and pumba were just trying to have a nice quiet day at the beach and are rather annoyed by all the singing and dancing. the interweaving of this original story and the events of the first lion king movie is very fun to see, and we still get a good story of timon and pumba making a place for themselves in the world and growing up themselves.
this movie is definitely a fun one to watch right after the original lion king.

time machine

i cant really explain why, but i really like this movie! individually the pieces are all below average. the story is weak, it spends too much time on things we dont care about, and not enough on the interesting ideas it develops. the make-up for the morlocks is terrible and the finally is laughable. the people he meets in the far future are bland and uninteresting, and the bit with the library hologram is just plain stupid. but for some reason it still works! i think mostly it has to do with guy pierce as the lead, he brings emotion to a film that has very little to say. the first ten minutes of the movie are by far the best, when pierce looses the woman he loves and tries to get her back is the real core of the movie, all the stuff set in the far future is completely meaningless to the core mission of the character, therefore we never really invest in that part of the story. i will give it one thing- that time machine and the traveling through time effect are just plain amazing!

annie

i didnt grow up with this one, so i think a lot of its magic is lost on me. many people who loved this movie look at it with the nostalgia of when they first saw it. since this was the first time i saw it, i dont have any sort of love for what it was. looking at what it is now, though, is not really very good at all. i'm sure that it also might have to do with the fact that i am a 30 year old man, and this movie is not meant for me. the story follows the little orphan annie as she tries to deal with a head mistress who exploits her and the other orphans. when someone comes by to adopt annie, it turns out to be the richest man around, daddy warbucks. he tries to adopt her, but she is holding out hope for her real parents to come back and get her. little does she know that they were actually killed in a fire. the unscrupulous head mistress, though, sees a money making opportunity now that daddy warbucks is involved, so she sets up a plan to have a couple pretend to be her parents. there is much confusion and all of it is coated with a thick helping of song. its nice enough, but i dont think its meant for me. and it has not aged well, either...

taken

this one is just a good old fashioned revenge thriller. the story is simple, the main character's daughter gets kidnapped and he must try and get her back. the twist comes from the fact that the man who's daughter was taken is a man who does this for a living. the previews said it all when they show the conversation between the kidnappers and the main character. this is where we get the amazing line from liam neeson while he's on the phone with them:
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
right there, that hooked me and perfectly explains the film. i think that that line alone sold the movie and brought it over 145 million dollars! now thats what i call good marketing!

spy game

i really like this film! i'm not entirely sure why, but i like this one. the story is about a young undercover agent who has been caught and thrown into a chinese prison and the u.s. government doesnt want to do anything about it. the veteran agent who trained him tries to pull as many strings as possible to get him released. as the thrilling story unfolds, we are given flashbacks to when the two of them were working together. there are some really cool scenes where we see redford first training pitt to be a spy- the movie is worth seeing just for that part alone! the way redford tries to make an escape mission come together all the while not letting on to the people he is being investigated by, create some great thrilling moments of tension. i've said it before, but robert redford is just one of those actors who you cant take your eyes off of him! and pitt is no different in this film. watching the movie is like taking a masters class in acting- and its got a bunch of explosions too! hurrah!

harry potter and the half blood prince

recently my wife and i rewatched the last three harry potter movies on dvd. i was not all that impressed. for some reason i just havent been able to care about any of these characters, and none of the past five movies have changed that. till now. the latest installment of the franchise takes a pretty substantial turn, no longer is it so much about the cheesy little magic effects, which i always thought were an annoying distraction. instead, there is a focus on real character development and relationships growing and changing. this film finds harry potter living with his godfather and unsure about returning to hogwarts. the head wizard shows up and we get to see some character moments between the two of them as they track down an old teacher who knew voldemort when he was a student and sheds light on who the bad guy is. along the way we get to see some real development between the kids who we have followed for the past five films- they are actually turning into adults! the little moments between the kids are what really make this movie work. also, the directing on this film is magnificent! finally, the series is shifted from the basics to being a real work of art. the shots and the angles that the director chooses for the scenes really help tell the story and further immerse us in the world of the story. this director is doing the next two films as well, which means i eagerly await them! finally i am on board the harry potter express!

oceans 12

the first time i saw this movie i thought 'well, that was fun', but as i watch it again i start to think that maybe i thought it was fun because i loved 'oceans 11' so much and really wanted this one to be good too. but there's one problem: it isnt. in the first one the twelve guys assemble to pull the ultimate heist in las vegas, they succeed with style and its a really fun romp. this one isnt quite so much fun. the set up feels really forced, we left the guys on a high note, but now we see that most of them didn't use the money very well and now they are being blackmailed to get the money back to the guy they stole from. (spoiler warning) they then have to do it all over again, but there is this strange contest thrown in by some french guy who wants to prove that he is better than them. okay... the first heist goes bad, then the second heist goes bad, only to find out that they had already stolen the object weeks earlier. lame. when the twist ending shows that none of the stuff before it really mattered, then its a crappy twist ending. sorry guys, i looked like you were having fun making it, but by the end i wasnt having fun watching it.

g. i. joe

going to see this was not my choice, i like to believe that i have better taste then that. the guys came down for the weekend and were all really excited (for reasons i cant imagine) to see this movie. so we went. and boy, did it suck hard!
i would try to summarize the movie first, but i'm not entirely convinced that there was a storyline to begin with. it really just felt like they had some ideas for action scenes and filled in some random talky bits in between just to fill the time requirement. was the movie good? oh, by no means could i say it was anywhere near good. so, what was wrong with it? everything. its done by the same guy who directed 'the mummy' and its sequel, and 'van helsing', so you know the whole point of the film is just to 'look cool' and sell some toys (the film was co-produced by a hasbro, a toy company after all...). the problem is that nothing in it looked good! even the free gimme of the black ninja 'snake eyes' was screwed up- they gave him lips?!? what the?!? ok, do you really want me to give you an example of how stupid the movie is? well here goes: at one point they are in an underwater base under the arctic circle (dont ask) and are afraid that some bombs are going to go off and blow up the surface and it will all come raining down on them and destroy the base. there is just one problem: the surface of the arctic circle is pure ice, they can bomb it all they want because ice doesnt sink! the base would not be affected by this in the slightest- the base is under water!!! they then proceed to blow the bombs and the ice, defying the laws of physics, sink to the bottom and destroy the base. wow. to say nothing of the random background guys who are busy burning the walls in the hallways of the base...
i guess what i'm trying to say is this: dont bother. i went to see it so you don't have to. who's the 'real american hero' now, joe?

g-force

this one was a turd. i knew it was going to suck going in, i mean, look at the premise: its a group of gerbils who can talk working for the government as secret agents. there really is no way for this thing to be good. at least it was in 3D, so i could at least sit back and enjoy the visuals. i got so bored during the film that i was actually focusing on the 3D element exclusively. i watched with the glasses, and also checked it out for a couple minutes without the glasses. when i did this, i made a little discovery. i figured out how they make it look like things are coming off the screen! turns out that the image itself is smaller than what is projected. that means that they are projecting black borders around the picture. this is important because when something looks like its coming off the screen, its actually breaking into the black borders that are being projected on the screen. kind of cool!
well, i guess it shows you how bad the film was if all i have to say about it is the 3D effect, huh?

about a boy

i'll admit it, i'm a sucker for hugh grant. i know his charms are supposed to work on the ladies, but i fall for it as well (not entirely sure what that says about me...). this film is a romantic comedy, except that it isnt. hugh grant plays a millionaire bachelor with nothing but time on his hands but no interest in sharing that time with others. no man is an island, but he sure is trying to be one! he doesnt mind one night stand visitors though... through a strange connection, he meets a 13 year old boy who latches on to him. the boy has no father at home and a suicidal mother, and is terribly gawky and awkward. all he wants is a place to feel safe and he finds that with grant. through the course of the movie the two of them form a bond that changes both of them for the better.
the main draw of this movie is obviously grant, but another aspect that i really liked is that this is a romantic comedy for guys. there doesnt end up bring any sort of cheesy romance, instead it focuses on a guy who learns its time to grow up. when i first saw the movie i related very closely with the hugh grant character (not the millionaire part, but the island part). seeing it again i relate even closer with him, but the him he becomes at the end of the movie. all in all, a great chick flick for guys!

the hangover

all that hype? worth it! this movie is a great display of some new and fresh comedic voices getting a chance to take center stage. it is certainly the freshest comedy since '40 year old virgin'. the story is pretty basic, four guys head out for a bachelor party in vegas, things go horribly wrong and they have to try and figure out the next day what exactly happened. the premise is told as if it were a mystery story and the guys go around trying to piece together clues. the three of the guys, bradley cooper who plays the smooth operator, ed helms, the uptight guy in a bad relationship, and zach galifinakis is the uncomfortable little brother of the bride who they invite reluctantly. all three of them are given real moments to shine as they try and figure out what went down the night before. the mystery takes some really strange twists, but all of them play out so perfectly! i was genuinely laughing so hard that my stomach hurt after the movie was over! pure hilarity!

matrix revolutions

though its the worst of the three, that is still high praise. the second and third movies were made at the same time, but the feel quite disjointed. even watching them back to back, the third one is lacking. the main reason this one isnt as good as the second is because many of the interesting ideas presented in the second one are dropped in favor of resolution and action. the merovingian and the architect show up again, but this time it just seems like a rehash and watered down version of what we saw in the last film. where 'reloaded' soared with ideas, this one brings those ideas crashing down on their heads. even the shocking realization that neo can use his powers outside of the matrix is never dealt with and never explained. the action is great, but it all looses its deep roots in favor of billowy shade.
one bit that i did really like in this third film was the direct metaphor of the new testament. in the story neo is the christ figure who must give his life for everyone else's salvation, even to the point where the resolution is that anyone can have freedom from the machines if they ask for it- very christ like. in this metaphor, we also see morpheus as peter, the strongest supporter of neo through out the films. at the critical moment though, we see morpheus doubt neo and turn from him just as the machine crows. when it is all said and done, we also see that morpheus will become the rock that neo's church will be built on, his faith once again restored. a very touching allegory that cements the depth of neo's importance and his message. though the machines are still around, satan smith has been defeated and now those who believe are made free.

matrix reloaded

it might be an unpopular stance, but this is actually my favorite of the three movies. the first one was amazing and mindblowing, it shows us a new world and takes us 'down the rabbit hole' into these new ideas. but i feel that this second film delivers more. it follows our intrepid hero as the humans prepare for the machine war ahead, but it takes what was set up in the first one and amps it up. the action is amazing, from the highway chase to the burly man fight, and everything in between it is breathtaking. but even with all that amazing action, the best parts of the film come from the quieter moments, the times when they dig deeper and explore the depth of layers to this world. the dinner with the merovingian, where he talks about causality, and the architect who discusses the structure and design of the matrix. all the ideas and explanations they give are so interesting that it takes the film to another level, its not just an action-fest, but it is a challenging philosophy and theology as well. this film is all about sharing the possibilities of this world, giving glimpses of the breadth and scope of what movies can be, challenging the mind and also racing the pulse.

the matrix

this one was a game changer. the depth of the ideas in the film along with the mind blowing visuals changed the entire history of movies. from here on out, 'the matrix' became the benchmark of films. everything before this is now outdated, and everything after it has been trying to catch up. this is at its heart an updated adaptation of alice in wonderland. as neo goes down the rabbit hole he finds a new world and discovers his place in it. the creation of 'bullet time' and the depth of its philosophy showed that there can be such a thing as a thought provoking action movie. all of this, along with style in spades, makes this a landmark film. though the story was continued in the two sequels, this one stands alone as a complete story and a look at a turn-of-the-millennium culture at its best.

40 year old virgin

this movie is absolutely hilarious! comedies dont get much better than this. this movie hearkened in a new style of comedy that focus on emotionally immature men trying to grow up, but had a strong heart. in fact, this style of comedy has become known as an apatow style movie, named after the director of this movie. that says a lot about how great this one is. the movie follows carell's character as he befriends some of the guys he works with, the discover that he is still a virgin, and go about trying to get him a girl to deflower him. the guys all give different advice, all of which fails horribly (but allows for some of the best humor in the movie!). carell is perfect as the optimistic man-child who never really grew up, but had a heart of gold. the rolls of the bad advice giving friends are filled by such big names as seth rogan and paul rudd. their turns here are directly responsible for their success since- one of the funniest parts of the movie is where these two guys are playing video games and talking, going back and fourth saying 'you know how i know you are gay? because...'. but what is so wonderful about the movie is that carell's character really is a great guy. he knows what's right and does his best to stick by that, he's just been a bit unlucky in love. the heart warming undertones are what make this movie shine, allowing it to be so much more than just a simple gross-out comedy (well, its that too...).

scorpion king

from the lame introduction to the scorpion king from 'the mummy 2' we somehow get this film. it's the rock's first outing as the star of a movie and its obvious that he is on his way to stardom. though this movie isn't a very good showcase for what the rock is capable of, its straight forward action and light spirit allow it to be a fun watch. the plot follows the rock as he stands up to become the leader of his people as they are fighting off an emperor who wants to rule them all. we've seen it a thousand times, and its not necessarily done well here, but the fact that they don't take themselves too seriously allows everyone to enjoy the adventure anyway. its easily apparent that the rock is still in wrestling mode, as all the action in the film looks like it was originally meant to take place inside the ring. but the action is fast and light and often enough that its easy to get distracted from the fact that the movie is only mediocre. the rock gets four stars but the movie only gets two. i guess that leaves us with an average of three stars!